It ok not to be ok

When times get hard it’s ok not to be ok that’s what you are told but is it ok to not be ok ??? When you low and feeling down people tell you life is tuff and that’s ok they say things will get better and thats its ok if your not ok but at the same time they will ask when you doing this why are you not doing that like it’s not ok just to want to have time alone away from the world but if you say this they will tell you it’s ok not to be ok but do they mean this. I’m feeling low today but have to be ok my kids need me to be ok they won’t see the pain I feel the loss of hope I feel the emptiness I feel they will see I’m ok even if I’m not ok because sometimes it’s just not ok to not be ok. I sit alone at night thinking is this it is this what im meant to do am I doing it right am I the one who they will look up to in the end I sit there and lay there wondering what I should do would they be better without me or is it just me who would feel better without me but I’m ok I think I’m ok and if I’m not it’s ok to not be ok. I’m ok sitting here speaking to myself listen to the words that no one else can hear they understand stand me they know I’m not ok but those are the words that will stay between me and them as to everyone else I’m ok. I guess the saying right it is ok not to be ok but only if you keep it to yourself so everyone around thinks your ok.