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Interview With Rock Star Johnny Bravo

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I had fun writing this experimental work. From the anthology, Complaining to the Clock, a work in progress. 

Of course, Johnny Bravo has never existed, except on an old TV rerun of the Brady Bunch from 1973. But this is my imaginary interview, written with poetic form in mind, however silly this may be. My fellow poet, D Lee, informed me that my poetry lately has become heavy and overly negative, so, here is my attempt at levity. More to follow....

Interview With Rock Star - Johnny Bravo So Johnny, what happened? Why did you quit your musical career before it even got started? It was that guy with the crazy curls, Greg Brady, who quit Johnny Bravo. And that’s the truth. It was that cat who did the big bend-over for his parents. I had dreams of money, fame and lots of females wearing hot pants. You heard what those two producers had to say about me. I was the one who fit the suit! I was the one whose voice was loved by all of America! But State University sent Greg many enticing offers for a higher education, offers that would lead to a life lived happily ever after the degree. And Greg’s dad gave me the big guilt trip. So I lost out on a sure thing! But know this, Johnny Bravo is not finished! So Johnny. Any possible chance you will resurrect your rock and roll career at age 67? I may be an old coot now, what with my hands shakin’ all the time, And me not always being on schedule, you know, with much-desired bowel movements at dawn, But shoot, I’m not that old, I still have songs in my heart to sing. Hey, I wrote a song thirteen years ago called Makin’ Love In My Lovebug; That is a hit song just waiting to take over the world! So, my talent is still brimming like beer in a barrel. Okay Johnny. What did think of your co-stars on the Brady Bunch? All of them were as straight as arrows coming from the Comanches. None of them smoked, drank or cussed, unlike the real Johnny Bravo! Yes, truth be known, I have cussed in my life. And yes, if truth must be known, I have looked upon Marsha Brady, and her sister, Jan, I might add, with lust in my heart, and in my cojones to boot. I have caught myself fantasizing about their long blond strands, their shapely tanned athletic legs running track in springtime. And oh, how I have wished with all my heart to strum guitars with them, A threesome with sunshine and balloons, whistles and lollipops! To just go bowling with them would be a dream come true. But, I must be honest, Marsha is a far out chick in a very groovy way! Jan is a nice girl too, but, well. And I recall a time when I found Alice to be the reason for my many dizzy spells back then. Don’t ask me to elaborate. And Sam the butcher, he set me straight on females; that godly guy with the meat cleaver! God bless him! Any advice for upcoming rock stars, Johnny? Sure, Johnny Bravo says this to all you future rock stars out there! Don’t forget your family! If you have three hot blond sisters who wear mini skirts and panty hose, involve them! If you have two creepy annoying brothers who wear polyester all the time, Involve them! If you have two weirdo parents who don’t seem sexually attracted to each other, Involve them! Johnny Bravo lives!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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