Interview With a Real Drinker.
Interview with a Real Drinker.
A: “Sir, can you tell me, why do you drink?”
B: “So that I’m rendered unable to think!”
A: “Then, can you tell me, what do you drink?”
B: “Anything, friend!” (With a laugh and a wink.)
A: “Any problems, then, with any one drink?”
B: “Hum, that’s a good question. Now let me think…”
B: “One beer, two beers, and then I pee,
And I pass the gas with two Chablis.
Liqueur taste funny, like gas no-lead
And rum bangs drums inside my head.
Brandy’s heavy, it knots me up.
Spike the punch. Watch me erupt!
Importeds? Well, what’s in a name?
Priced too high, the high’s the same
When the vodka hits, I’m on the floor.
With tequila, I’m soon shown the door.
Champagne fizzes, while gin’s so dull,
And scotch rings bells inside my skull.”
A: “Sir, drinking’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
“You should go on the wagon, it seems to me.”
B:” I hate to say it, but I think you’re right.
With the blacking out, the barroom fights,
It’s really not worth the trouble
Waking up with three days stubble.
The morning after’s one big minus
With cotton mouth and wooly sinus
I hug the bowl and you know the rest,
It really might be for the best,
If I just gave it up, well, all right!
I’ll start tomorrow…….bartender!
B: “Good for you, sir, you’ve seen the light!”
B: “ Set up my friend and me tonight.”
Copyright © Gerard Keogh Jr. | Year Posted 2006
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