Inspector Tweede
There was no finer detective than Inspector Thaddeus Tweede of Scotland yard!
He was most astute in solving crimes and could easily detect a feeble canard!
He joined the force as a 'bobby' working himself to the peak of his profession.
You daren't pull the wool over his eyes when he was seeking a confession!
Ah! He could have been cast in a movie since he was a detective's prototype,
In his tweed suit, tweed cape, tweed deerstalker's cap and ever-present pipe!
When investigating a crime scene he'd mull the facts with his chin in his hand,
Puffing his pipe making copious notes should he be called to the witness stand!
The highlight of his career was solving the case of Prime Minister Percival Hoar,
Who was found by his maid one dark and stormy night sprawled upon the floor!
There was no evidence of forceful entry nor anyone breaking through the door,
Nor was there any sign of a struggle, bullet holes or oozing, bloody gore!
Who could have done this dastardly deed that brought the minister to his doom?
He took prints, photos and noticed a strange odor as he moved about the room.
Thaddeus called on all his experience and training to solve this mysterious case,
Muttering to himself and doing a lot of 'hmmming' as to and fro he did pace!
Eureka! He noted a bulge in the prime minister's jacket he hadn't seen before!
Gingerly lifting a bottle from the pocket, he deduced he needn't search anymore.
'Twasn't a gun, the butler, a political enemy, jilted lover or envious friend
Who did the terrible deed - 'twas demon rum that brought the minister to his end!
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