Premiere Contest WinnerIn the Clearing

two boys racing
dash, dart, tear
airburst in a clearing punched open
arms of piston pumping disperse white funnels
                                             dandelion fluff curling
                 scattering flowered stems
as water streaked, streams down joyful faces

clearing, 
            a clawed out seclusion
child claimed freedom unspooling in summer heat
                         pulling back its gauzy veil
                         pushed to disarray 
in this seething space, holding promise

two boys, breath weary, tumble into the tall grass
laugh and roll,
confessions shared like wanting to drift somewhere
                                                           - imaginary to real
claiming turf needing no repair
stories whispered before they're pushed off the page
              in a green clearing, its window-heavy future
till tall tales take a different slant
to rest like beaded sweat
                                  upon lined brows


Poem composed February 21, 2023
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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Drowley Avatar
June 29, 2023 at 10:19 AM
Brian, Congratulations on your win! I really liked "stories whispered before they're pushed off the page."
Sambourne Avatar
June 29, 2023 at 10:27 AM
Hello David, thank you kindly for your congratulatory note on my poem. One image lead to the write - two boys racing through a field. Best wishes, Brian
Kauffman Avatar
June 27, 2023 at 11:29 AM
Brian, your word pairings, images and scenic imagery are, simply put, articulated with a master's pen! Congratulations on your trophy win with this outstanding poem. It is truly an honor to share the podium with your poetic art of innocence flowing into maturity through childhood memories! Blessings! Cheers
Sambourne Avatar
June 27, 2023 at 5:19 PM
Greetings Sam, Thank you for your most thoughtful appraisal of my posting. You've expressed my intention precisely - "innocence flowing into maturity." Your insights are spot on. Be well. With appreciation, Brian
Mcintosh Avatar
June 27, 2023 at 5:04 AM
This is definitely a fave. I love it! Congrats! Great writing. God bless you. Love, Gina
Sambourne Avatar
June 27, 2023 at 5:29 AM
Thank you Gina, for seeing merit in my work. Much appreciation. Be well. Sincerely, Brian
Radice Avatar
June 27, 2023 at 12:54 AM
Such joy when play came complete with a serving of naive - but joyful - ignorance of life's real rules and news. Anything was possible. Even freedom. (My take, anyway) Love this Brian. Deserved recognition from Brian's contest and beyond for a truly great work. Cheers - Gary
Sambourne Avatar
June 27, 2023 at 5:35 AM
Hi Gary, Nothing like the freedom and hope of youth to spill over + push one's pen. To move from innocence to experience is certainly a well trod path. Thank you for your message of congratulations. Best wishes, Brian
Goldsmith Avatar
April 6, 2023 at 10:12 AM
I see this lovely write was a winner. "Congratulations" Have a great day writing away................
Sambourne Avatar
April 6, 2023 at 12:41 PM
Hi Paula, You are such a much appreciated, supportive poet here on Poetrysoup. Thank you for your affirmative note. Best wishes, Brian
Puddifoot Avatar
February 26, 2023 at 8:36 AM
a well deserved high placement for this excellent poem - i enjoyed the original use of language throughout - congrats on your win in the contest!
Sambourne Avatar
February 26, 2023 at 3:14 PM
My appreciation for your positive take on my "Clearing" poem, Charlotte. I may tweak it yet. Be well. Sincerely, Brian
Alex Avatar
February 25, 2023 at 7:53 PM
"till tall tales take a different slant" - beautifully written. Congratulations!
Sambourne Avatar
February 25, 2023 at 7:55 PM
Thank you, Christuraj, for your stop by + congratulatory message. Hope that you are well. Cheers Brian
Poet Avatar
February 25, 2023 at 10:41 AM
Congratulations, Brian, for the winning achievement; your poem on clearing is so lovely, and I really liked the way your tale uses of metaphors.
Sambourne Avatar
February 25, 2023 at 3:30 PM
Your kind acknowledgement of my small poem is most appreciated, Sotto Poet. I was surprised by the high placement. Certainly not expected. Thank you again for your evaluation. Be well. Brian
Fowler Avatar
February 25, 2023 at 7:06 AM
A melancholy tale told so well! Congratulations on your win Brian. :)
Sambourne Avatar
February 25, 2023 at 7:28 AM
Greetings Linda. Most thoughtful of you to stop by + comment affirmatively. Overall, I see the boys' exuberant freedom meshing with the clearing - open + unburdened by tanglement. You are right, though, in that the final 4 lines suggest melancholy. With experience (+ time) we often struggle with confinement. Be well. Cheers Brian
Kendrick Avatar
February 22, 2023 at 4:05 AM
Ahh!! Reads like a good contender to me for the contest. Children can enjoy such simple pleasures. I remember times when I did the same. Thanks for sharing and for stopping by my page. Sara
Sambourne Avatar
February 22, 2023 at 6:36 AM
Hello Sara, thank you for your vote of confidence. The presence of a clearing + two boys running through it suggested promise + freedom to my stodgy pen. Be well. Brian
Nuwas Avatar
February 21, 2023 at 8:45 PM
Lovely poem!
Sambourne Avatar
February 21, 2023 at 9:04 PM
Thank you, Aysha. A newspaper pic, two boys in a heated run through a clearing became the impetus for this small piece. Be well. Brian
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