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In the Act - Very Bawdy

I can’t believe what Mom and Santa were doing
They thought I was in bed, my presents accruing
It was late on Christmas Eve,
In Santa I still believe,
But I would swear I saw Mom and Santa Claus scr*wing!

FIFTH PLACE WINNER
written December 13, 2021
especially for "I Need A Good Laugh - Christmas Limerick" poetry contest
sponsored by Andrea Dietrich

Copyright © L Milton Hankins | Year Posted 2021

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Connie Marcum Wong Date: 12/26/2021 2:46:00 PM Maybe they were busy assembling a bicycle? Lol Congratulations on your win Milton. Blessings xxoo Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/26/2021 3:16:00 PM Exactly, Connie. How could I have fostered a misconception like this one??? Happy New Year to you, Connie.

Susan Ashley Date: 12/25/2021 8:56:00 PM Haha! A fun and naughty limerick, Milton. Congratulations for your excellent win in Andrea’s contest. Hope you enjoyed joyous and cozy Christmas.. ~Susan Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/25/2021 9:52:00 PM Susan, thank you so much. I always enjoy hearing from you. I had a most enjoyable, quiet Christmas. Dinner with a niece and her family.

Ann Peck Date: 12/25/2021 12:52:00 PM Why do you think Santa goes HOHOHO :) Congrats~just found this as I was gone. Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/25/2021 4:09:00 PM I suppose that might be why, Ann, but I've heard him Ho Ho Hoing in the department store, and I thought that was why. Come to think about it.....!

Terry Flood Date: 12/25/2021 3:43:00 AM Congrats on your DIY win, Milt (I presume he was showing her how to use her new electric screwdriver). The Uk used to have a puritanical campaigner called Mary Whitehouse… I think she just turned in her grave. Ha ha! Happy Christmas. Terry Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/25/2021 8:40:00 AM Well, good for her, Terry. Thanks for your comment.

Alexis Y. Date: 12/24/2021 7:38:00 PM Hi Milt, I’m just coming back to say congratulations on your winning write. Have a good evening:-) Alexis Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/25/2021 8:43:00 AM Well, at least I made the list, Alexis. I can't say it was one of my best!

Andrea Dietrich Date: 12/24/2021 4:25:00 PM hahaha. This was good and funny, Milton!! I did not know you did bawdy humor. Good to know for future reference!!! Congrats in my contest. Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/24/2021 6:54:00 PM Of course, Andrea, don't we all? You know the limerick form is deeply influenced by the seamier side of life. Shakespeare, himself, wrote some pretty raw stuff. I think sometimes I slip over a line I wish I hadn't, but, I've never been neither a Puritan nor a prude. Thank you, Andrea. I have the greatest respect for you as a person and a poet. Merry Christmas!

Caren Krutsinger Date: 12/16/2021 6:33:00 AM You did not! Oh, yes you DID! Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/16/2021 8:49:00 AM Actually, Caren, I did not. However, I grew up in a tiny four-room house and not much was left to the imagination...or, perhaps, it was!

Tom Cunningham Date: 12/14/2021 10:38:00 AM Good one Milton then limericks are supposed to be bawdy but I'll never see Santa in the same light lol. Tom Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/14/2021 11:40:00 AM Aw, Tom. I doubt that I will either after that one. Thanks for your read and your comment. (chuckling)

Kim Rodrigues Date: 12/13/2021 6:32:00 PM Oh my! I’m turning Christmas Red…apparently Santa had enough of kissing. Very funny. Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/13/2021 6:57:00 PM Well, you know what that kissing can lead to. Thanks, Kim, for your comment...and your smile!

John Lawless Date: 12/13/2021 3:34:00 PM If anything Milton this will put a notch on our poetry pencil....as a good limerick is worth its notice....and a red thong up the panty ante..... Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/13/2021 4:10:00 PM John, I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed! It came to me and seemed to be a perfect entry for Andrea's contest, so I went with it. Hey, I marked it VERY BAWDY, so it was offered with a beware! John, have you noticed that naughty stuff gets immediate high readership? That tells me something. You?

Janice Canerdy Date: 12/13/2021 2:12:00 PM Love this naughty update on "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," Milton! Janice Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/13/2021 2:25:00 PM Thanks, Janice. My dad was seldom around at Christmas, to our chagrin. Totally fiction, but I thought it made a funny limerick for Andrea's contest. I'm anxious to read what turns up there.

Alexis Y. Date: 12/13/2021 1:59:00 PM Hi Milt, This is hilarious. You should do well in the contest. Best wishes in the contest. Have a great day:-) Alexis Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/13/2021 2:26:00 PM Thanks, Alexis. One can always hope! It might be just a little too much!

Ilene Bauer Date: 12/13/2021 1:30:00 PM hilarious, milton! Login to Reply L Milton Hankins Date: 12/13/2021 1:43:00 PM I'm glad you got a kick out of it, Ilene. I had fun writing it, and I suppose my reputation for poetry-writing has probably dropped a notch or two, eh?