In Fear of My Life

I responded to a dare down at the county zoo I was with my mates so what was I to do It was only meant to be an Itsy Bitsy joke That mighty ape seemed half asleep… so I gave him a poke What happened next, in later life, I might have bragged That massive ape looked angry when I said, “You’re tagged.” I’m sky high on bravado but that didn’t last long For very soon I found that something was very wrong I thought it was a leg pull but my mates seemed shocked When one announced that that gorilla’s cage ain’t locked Kongo, the gorilla, grinned (I kid you not) I’m telling you, I wasn’t welded to the spot Kongo headed for his gate, he looked irate I shouted as I ran, “I’m off; it’s getting late!” I couldn’t find my keys; my car was staying put It’s human v gorilla… and it’s all on foot But I made it to the highway and I hitched a ride Kongo kept on coming at a rapid stride I asked the driver, “Can’t you give the gas a blast? That damned gorilla’s angry… and he’s really fast.” The pedal hit the floor, we hit a hundred and five So we would outrun any hairy ape alive We passed a warehouse and I said, “Thanks for the ride, I think I’ve found the perfect place that I can hide.” I snuck into the building but I felt quite sick I heard gorilla footsteps coming really quick I guessed he must have tracked me by the scent of my breath And pondered all the headlines apropos my own death He crashed in through the doorway like a drunk home late With every step he took I felt the floor vibrate I hid behind some shelves and tried hard not to breathe And when he found me I knew that my folks would grieve I knew that all was lost; I couldn’t fight that beast Maybe I could sock him on the jaw at least He grabbed me with both hands; I thought my chest would split But then he bared his fangs and said, “Hah! Tag; you’re it!”