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I responded to a dare down at the county zoo
I was with my mates so what was I to do
It was only meant to be an Itsy Bitsy joke
That mighty ape seemed half asleep… so I gave him a poke

What happened next, in later life, I might have bragged
That massive ape looked angry when I said, “You’re tagged.”
I’m sky high on bravado but that didn’t last long
For very soon I found that something was very wrong

I thought it was a leg pull but my mates seemed shocked
When one announced that that gorilla’s cage ain’t locked
Kongo, the gorilla, grinned (I kid you not)
I’m telling you, I wasn’t welded to the spot

Kongo headed for his gate, he looked irate
I shouted as I ran, “I’m off; it’s getting late!”
I couldn’t find my keys; my car was staying put
It’s human v gorilla… and it’s all on foot

But I made it to the highway and I hitched a ride 
Kongo kept on coming at a rapid stride 
I asked the driver, “Can’t you give the gas a blast?
That damned gorilla’s angry… and he’s really fast.”

The pedal hit the floor, we hit a hundred and five
So we would outrun any hairy ape alive
We passed a warehouse and I said, “Thanks for the ride,
I think I’ve found the perfect place that I can hide.”

I snuck into the building but I felt quite sick
I heard gorilla footsteps coming really quick
I guessed he must have tracked me by the scent of my breath
And pondered all the headlines apropos my own death

He crashed in through the doorway like a drunk home late
With every step he took I felt the floor vibrate
I hid behind some shelves and tried hard not to breathe
And when he found me I knew that my folks would grieve 

I knew that all was lost; I couldn’t fight that beast
Maybe I could sock him on the jaw at least
He grabbed me with both hands; I thought my chest would split
But then he bared his fangs and said, “Hah! Tag; you’re it!”
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