Darren White Poet Pantoum

Notes About The Poem

Image and Reality Intertwine

The frightful night brings evening dreams that breeze
A host of thoughts to occupy my mind.
While I breathe in and out melodious wheeze,
Reality, with nightmares intertwine,

A host of thoughts to occupy my mind,
Prevent me now from sleeping fast and deep.
Reality, with nightmares intertwine,
To force me to my lifeless knees and weep.

Prevent me now from sleeping fast and deep
Hold back those demons that invade my peace:
To force me to my lifeless knees and weep;
To torture my straight line into a crease.

Hold back those demons that invade my peace,
While I breathe in and out melodious wheeze...
To torture my straight line into a crease,
The frightful night brings evening dreams that breeze.

***

March 21, 2017
Copyright © Darren White

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Sara Ella March 22, 2017 at 9:17 PM Sometimes dreams and reality are scarily hard to discern. This type of poem looks difficult to do... rather read your wonderful poetry. Darren White March 23, 2017 at 1:28 PM It's a delight to work on difficult rhyme and meter :)

White Wolf March 21, 2017 at 9:25 PM I've never tried this form, and I think I'll leave it that way, Haha. But you have done an excellent job mate! So many great lines in this. Darren White March 22, 2017 at 1:32 AM Budgie, thank you :)

Maria Williams March 21, 2017 at 8:50 PM A wonderful Pantoum Darren, and literally sent chills down my spine. I would give you a 10 for this if I can, however I do hope this is not a real life experience going on at the moment? Take care please. Hugs Darren White March 22, 2017 at 1:31 AM Hello Maria, thank you for the 10 :) I will not stop working on the Pantoum, because it's not yet completely to my satisfaction... Thank you.

Deadd Accountt March 21, 2017 at 6:37 PM Well done, Darren. I really like the image you portrayed of a "melodious wheeze..." And " To torture my straight line to a crease" Darren White March 22, 2017 at 1:29 AM Thank you OP, this is a hard form of poetry to write, because you don't only have the message you want to bring, but it also massively effs up your flowing lines lol :) Deadd Accountt March 21, 2017 at 6:37 PM **into a crease

Roy Pett March 21, 2017 at 8:42 AM Excellently written Pantoum Darren, this is a difficult form in my opinion, yet you have composed this which is brilliant, Roy. :)) Darren White March 21, 2017 at 8:58 AM Thanks Roy, I love Pantoums, just like villanelles and terzanelles, for the repetition, but it also makes it hard to get a natural flowing poem. I am not yet completely satisfied with this one. It might be that I will add one or two stanzas to it, or change lines. Stay tuned :)