I'M Sorry

I'm Sorry that I wasn't enough for you to be around I'm sorry I wasn't important enough for you to put the drink down I'm sorry that I always craved your love I'm sorry that I was your son, and you wouldn't give me a hug I'm sorry for crying in the corner while you and mum were fighting Smashing plates and shouting, I'm sorry that 3 year old me was hiding I'm sorry that I got in the way, I guess you didn't need me home I'm sorry, that you and mum went drinking and decided to leave me alone I'm sorry that I cried as a child and got in the way of your drinking time I'm sorry that when I got took into care, I didn't pretend I was fine I'm sorry that I only wanted you to take me to the park I'm sorry that I always craved to be important inside of my dads heart I'm sorry for needing food, I understand why you made me go without Your alcohol addiction was more important, i'm sorry you didn't want me around I'm sorry for not crying when you died when I was 14, but I didn't feel a loss But I'm not sorry for finally finding myself in a world where I've mostly been lost