Mike Hauser Poet Free verse

I'M Going To Be a Rap Star

That's it I've had it
Tired of being ignored with a wink on the side
I'm tired of being told what old men should do
Going to start taking life on the flea..or is that the fly

I'm going to hit the streets of the city
And be known as that cool guy that raps
After I add a tad bit more Poligrip
So my dentures can get down with that

I'll get me a ball cap and turn it sideways
My pants already hang down past my crack
I'll even learn the latest catch phrase
Like, Hey dude..what's up wit dat?! 

Think I'll even rhinestone my walker
For that little extra bling, bling
They'll say check out that crazy rapper daddy-o
Man that cat can really swing

I'll keep the lyrics clean like I do my diaper
That's why I bring my nursie with me
After all she's a wonderful wiper
Don't worry I pay the extra wiping fee

I'll also get her to hold up the cue cards
Since my memory over the years has waned 
No longer to be known as that old white cracker
Beating JZ at his own game

I'll get jiggy with it every chance I get
As I fizizzile my way to the top
I'll be bigger than that guy with the candy name
That young whipper snapper will melt in the hands of this rapping GrandPop

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Line Gauthier November 14, 2018 at 7:41 PM Written in the style and humor of a great limerick. Well done, Mike.

Cheryl Hoffman June 8, 2016 at 7:46 PM Crazy but in a funny unique style all your own Mike!:)

Casarah Nance June 8, 2016 at 7:44 AM That is funny, I did a rap like this called old time hip hop a year or so back when I was working with senior services. We can't control what happens to our bodies, so we may as well laugh about it. I enjoyed this Mike. Mike Hauser June 8, 2016 at 7:53 AM Thanks... I love writing the crazy ones!