Illusion Like a Clown

I dig into my make up to put on my new face. Something fresh and entertaining. Red lipstick for sure, lots of black around the eyes. I have to look lively; it adds to my funniness. My pal Lulu is staring at me. I see she is worried. I give her an encouraging smile, but she is not fooled. She knows me better than the others in this troupe. I have worked with her for a long time. I wink. She waves me off, but gives me a smile. It is starting to work. I can do this. Put my sadness behind me, forget Sammy’s death. For two hours while I entertain children who are ready. They clamor toward me yelling “The clown! The clown!” I start in on the tricks right away – pulling out scarf after scarf. Finding a shiny quarter behind a delighted toddler’s left ear. “You go Dad!” whispers Sammy. Proving he is not gone. Death is as much an Illusion as a clown.