Iktomis Mistake

(A Native American Story) Iktomi is a spider fairy, though in truth he is related to mankind. Like most of mankind Iktomi is vain, shallow, and mischievous yet he alone, is the master of greedy craftiness. He has long braided hair and he paints his funny face red. He draws black circles around his eyes. His buckskins are beaded and sparkle day and night. One day, Iktomi went to Walmart. the people had never seen a Dakota Sioux legend strutting through their store and marveled at his gaudy attire. Iktomi was very pleased with his appearance and the impression he was making. When he reached the aisle where the canned soups were displayed he told a worker to open one for him for he was hungry. It was politely explained that he would have to buy one. Iktomi flew into a rage and hopped over the aisle. He began to throw canned goods at the startled shoppers but this time he could not intimidate the people who, by and large, were by nature - large and as equally as hardy as any warrior. Several mighty consumers and several sturdy maidens chased him as he crashed through the bathroom tissue sections… a mistake for the beefy shoppers prized toilet paper most highly. He was carried howling over the heads of the throng out into the parking lot where a few off-duty anarchist’s rescued him; for mischief and mayhem were again in need of a fake hero.