If Only Now, As Then
Then ...
Where were you?
Don't you know how diligently I looked ...
How I begged for fate to pity me?
Every face, every curve, every eye glint and crimped grin
I sought for that spark ... that flicker
That attenuate shimmer to the eye that would pull me IN
Deep and close and warm
Every laugh or whisper that tickled my ear
I listened, rapt ... examined, intently
For the precise affect that bespoke a rarity, pure
For the musical tone that breathed to me a song of fire
That stoked my ambition with a hunger, hot
And a craving, cold ... and keen
How many, the gazes measured and met?
Countless, the unspoken prayers for the next lover
To hold that sublime, laughing magic
That unique knowledge of what was but silliness to others
Those tiny, secret, utterly romantic musings
That ever spun in my mind and passions
Those sexy things I wrote with my fingertips, (in cursive)
On every warm surface of moonlight-swathed skin
That swam the sheets with me at night
In vain pursuit of that most precious and elusive ...
Soul mate.
Where ... then?
Now ...
In a place where it can NEVER be
You stand before me
Perfectly imperfect ... in all the ways that define me
In every aspect that I can imagine
Or that I have ever dreamed and hoped
You. Are. The. One.
Yet you are the one thing that dashes all
That plunges my conceptions to the rocks
And turns true love to hopelessness
Oh, how I wish I'd known you
Then ... when I was young
For now you are the one thing I can not accept ...
The only thing that could now crush me
Another's.
~ 2nd Place ~ in the "That Was Then This Is Now" Poetry Contest, Silent One, Judge & Sponsor.
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Wish I Knew You When I Was Young" Poetry Contest, Julie Leigh Rodeheaver, Judge & Sponsor.
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