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If Only Now, As Then

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Image result for beautiful girl sunset

Then ...
Where were you?
Don't you know how diligently I looked ...
How I begged for fate to pity me?

Every face, every curve, every eye glint and crimped grin
I sought for that spark ... that flicker
That attenuate shimmer to the eye that would pull me IN
Deep and close and warm

Every laugh or whisper that tickled my ear
I listened, rapt ... examined, intently
For the precise affect that bespoke a rarity, pure
For the musical tone that breathed to me a song of fire

That stoked my ambition with a hunger, hot
And a craving, cold ... and keen
How many, the gazes measured and met?
Countless, the unspoken prayers for the next lover

To hold that sublime, laughing magic
That unique knowledge of what was but silliness to others
Those tiny, secret, utterly romantic musings
That ever spun in my mind and passions

Those sexy things I wrote with my fingertips, (in cursive)
On every warm surface of moonlight-swathed skin
That swam the sheets with me at night
In vain pursuit of that most precious and elusive ...

Soul mate.
Where ... then?
Now ...
In a place where it can NEVER be

You stand before me
Perfectly imperfect ... in all the ways that define me
In every aspect that I can imagine
Or that I have ever dreamed and hoped

You. Are. The. One.
Yet you are the one thing that dashes all
That plunges my conceptions to the rocks
And turns true love to hopelessness

Oh, how I wish I'd known you
Then ... when I was young
For now you are the one thing I can not accept ...
The only thing that could now crush me

Another's.

~ 2nd Place ~ in the "That Was Then This Is Now" Poetry Contest, Silent One, Judge & Sponsor.

~ 1st Place ~ in the "Wish I Knew You When I Was Young" Poetry Contest, Julie Leigh Rodeheaver, Judge & Sponsor.

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Silent One

Date: 1/27/2019 9:13:00 AM

Nice take on the contest Gregory.. Congratulations on your placement in the contest..

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 1/27/2019 9:43:00 PM

Thank you very much. Pleased to say this is being used to teach a college course at present - such a joy!

Joanna Daniel

Date: 12/4/2017 8:54:00 AM

Congratulations on a wonderful poem, Greg:) you are the best:) just so you know, my poem "Downcast in the rain" is fictional:)

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 12/5/2017 4:42:00 PM

Very kind of you to say, Jo, and I thank you so much! I'm also glad to hear that's a fictional write and that you aren't mourning, although we all pay a price for loving ... eventually. Blessings to you, my friend!

Faye Gibson

Date: 12/2/2017 11:37:00 AM

Beautifully written; congratulations on your placement in the contest!

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 12/2/2017 7:05:00 PM

Very kind of you, Faye, I thank you so very much! Blessings and peace to you and yours, my friend! :-)

Jannie Breedt

Date: 12/2/2017 3:05:00 AM

Hi Greg, why dont they ever write such things about us? Those fems. Ha . Supremely.well written. I am aghast at the volume of your work that you have been churning out too. Wow, your confidence is soaring. So pleased about that. The muse isnt always there for me but should come. Your ending a twist in the gut.

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 12/2/2017 7:03:00 PM

Oh, Buddy, you are too kind ... the confidence thing I'm working on, though there is a bit of light in the distance, lol. I am so use to the self-deprecation thing - a lifetime of it - so anything OTHER than that is a struggle. So glad you enjoyed this ... it is rather special. All the best, Brother. :-)

Kristina Whitmore

Date: 12/2/2017 3:02:00 AM

The sensation felt when reading this is endearing. I love the end where it has a vortex into the truth of lost love. The intensity a soul mate the one and being young, I am the opposite and honestly wish I was more old. I really enjoyed this poem!

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 12/2/2017 7:01:00 PM

That's very kind of you, Kristina, and thank you SO much! The years go by FAR too fast, so savor them and make them last as long as you can ... soon enough you'll be looking back and thinking how fast it all went. I think love will find us all in good time, for we were given a gift to put into words what others only feel - such a blessing ... AND responsibility! Blessings and thank you very much for your kindness! :-) <3

Jean Murray

Date: 12/1/2017 6:00:00 PM

Greg.. I'm crying. I hope it works out for you. I'm still searching.

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 12/2/2017 6:58:00 PM

Thank you so much, Jean ... the search goes on, but I'm blessed to have found it earlier in life as well, (though I took it for granted). If it's meant to be it will happen! I wish the same for you, dear friend ... I think we all deserve at LEAST that. Blessings! :-) <3

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart

Date: 12/1/2017 8:21:00 AM

Goose bumps! ;) xomo

Gregory Richard Barden
Date: 12/2/2017 6:56:00 PM

Thank you, Mo ... that's the best comment one can get, I think, a physical reaction, (other than nausea, of course - I'm sure I've inspired THAT before as well, lol). Blessings, my friend!