If I Were a Girl

If I had been born a girl
I wonder what would rock my world
I really have to stop and think
I guess I’d have to start liking pink

One thing I know that would be really great
I know I’d never make a single mistake

I could change my mind all of the time
Oh wait a minute … no I wouldn’t
Well yeah, I guess I would
Or not
Maybe
Yeah, I would change my mind all the time
Naw, that wouldn’t be fair to my guy
Ahh – who cares … surely not I

I suppose I would have to get used to carrying a purse
Of course, there are other things to get used to a whole lot worse

I wouldn’t have to shave my face …
But I would have to shave almost every other place

If I were to be a girl
I don’t think I would be one of those liberated kind
Treat me like a delicate flower
I really would not even mind

I guess I couldn’t burp and fart in public
That would really cramp my style
And I know I couldn’t walk in high heels
Not even for one tenth of a mile

And one thing I know for sure,
I would be the ugliest girl under the sky …
No – I think I’ll just scratch and spit
And thank God I was born a guy
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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Dietrich Avatar
April 13, 2012 at 6:22 PM
I'm so glad to see yours on the winners' list. I loved it the first time as well. Big congrats, Joe.
Brown Avatar
April 10, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved placement in Frank's "If I Were A Boy/Girl" contest Joe. Love, Carol
Johnson Avatar
April 9, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Congratujlations on your big win. Love, Joyce
Sweetheart Avatar
April 9, 2012 at 9:21 AM
congrats Joe on a fabulous win for this exciting entry on role reversal luv..
Dailey Avatar
April 9, 2012 at 8:41 AM
Congratulations on your win. I couldn't make it past a 3 in this contest. Mike
Nicole Avatar
April 9, 2012 at 7:27 AM
Yes!!!! This was great... Love it!!!! Congrats and enjoy being a guy:) but i feel you with the heals, I hate them and I am a girl lol.
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
April 9, 2012 at 7:01 AM
So funny Joe couple of points though, I don't like pink, don't wear heels, don't carry a purse, gosh i am gettin confused now, well not really, maybe just a bit, not to sure though... Congrautlations xx
Macfarlane Avatar
March 15, 2012 at 3:57 PM
This is GREAT.....made me laugh out loud. Good luck in the contest.
Poet Avatar
March 13, 2012 at 4:32 AM
Hahaha...this is great!!Enjoyed very much Joe.
Burch Avatar
March 13, 2012 at 4:10 AM
It's 5:00 in the morning and still dark outside and I'm awake laughing OUTLOUD!!! Joe best of all good luck to you with the contest...huggsss~Deb~
Dietrich Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 7:51 PM
This is AWESOME. Even though you are totally wrong to think it's better to be a guy, I am gonna fave this. It's about the most well thought out poem on this topic that I"ve seen!! so clever.
The Rogue Rhymer Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 2:14 PM
Oh come on Joe you could rock some 4 1/2 inch red stilletos! I'll send you mine to practice :) And a Brazilian wax would surely build some character-If you boys only knew. Great entry for the contest btw. :)
Andresen Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 1:01 PM
Funny Joe..... Luck to you in contest ! - oxox love Anne-Lise :)
Collins Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 12:13 PM
make me laugh on a cloudy day will you. love, Kathy
Merryman Avatar
March 12, 2012 at 11:42 AM
You are hilarious, Joe. Great piece. Best wishes in the contest. Love, Kim
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