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Iambic Evenings

I wandered through the testimony grand
Tones lingered frayed and went there way quite mad
I smiled and laughed with congruent dismay
The flowers wilt with tiny drops of steps
The skyness of the blackness comfort thee
When all is done and all is meant to be.

lifefree verse

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Andrea Dietrich

February 22, 2010 at 7:37 PM

Matt, if skyness is not preferred by some, here is an alternative: "and blackness of the sky will comfort thee. . . " or "and may the heaven's blackness comfort thee" You just search around for a better synonym to fit the beat. Pretty good imabic beat in this one, and like Marty, I too loved line two! Andrea

Susan Palli

February 6, 2010 at 1:04 PM

Interesting

Matt Caliri

February 6, 2010 at 12:03 PM

I have a problem with the word "skyness" too, but for the life of me I couldn't take it out. I think because the poem itself starts to self-destruct in its own sense of congruency as soon as the "flowers" line hits. In one sense, if I'm going to write something like "testimony grand," I don't see why "skyness" is such a reach from there. What can I say? I like 'em slippery and evasive of meaning...