I Wish

Sometimes I wish I had died that night, That I had been able to muster up the courage to turn my wheel, To turn it just enough for that semi truck’s headlights to be my last glimpse of light. Sometimes I wish I had finally carved into my arm just deep enough, Just deep enough to stop that overwhelming feeling of nothingness, The nothingness that made my breath hitch and my eyes to burn. Sometimes I wish I had kept it to myself, Kept it to myself just long enough to finish what I had started, To finish my quest of ending the blinding, suffocating darkness. Sometimes I'm grateful I survived, That I survived those cold unforgiving nights that kept me up all hour of the night, All hours of the night praying to God for all of the loving people who surround me. Sometimes I wish I could tell them, That I could tell them how much it has meant to me this past year, This past year that has shown me how amazing life can be.