I Washed My Hands

I washed my hands this morning when I visited the loo,
Then went and touched the tap, which you really shouldn’t do,
And then I scratched my nose, because I had an itch, 
Then with my bare hands I went and pulled the switch!

And then I went and sneezed, with no tissue close to hand
Whilst holding the marmalade, not good you understand, 
With the work surface soiled and the margarine as well,
This damn Coronavirus is my own living hell!  

And so I washed my hands and then to my surprise 
There was no towel around, which I hadn’t realised.
So I’m wandering ‘round the kitchen, like a zombie on the run,
And I had to wash my hands again - oh isn’t this just fun!! 

So I sanitised the kitchen, wiped the work tops too
Then I asked my wife ‘would you mind cleaning the loo?’
I’ve sanitised the door knobs and all the floors to boot 
And just to be sure I thought I’d sanitise the fruit. 

I sanitised my phone but dropped it on the floor,
As I cannot clean a broken screen, I shan’t wipe it any more. 
And I tried to wipe my laptop but it doesn’t like the soap
And now I cannot switch it on, god knows how I will cope!

And the hand lotion I use, which normally lasts a year,
Is not enough to get me through this afternoon I fear,
And so I wash my hands again, a ritual I now despise,
As the scientists keep telling me ‘wash your hands we emphasise!’
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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De Beaulieu Avatar
April 25, 2020 at 5:46 PM
Hello Ronald, I was laughing all through this poem. Thank you for the laughter,that made my eyes teary eye. Have a nice evening my friend.
Kitchin Avatar
April 20, 2020 at 6:10 PM
Ha ha, sounds about right! I enjoyed your well penned poem!
Laurie Avatar
April 12, 2020 at 8:47 PM
G'day Ronald … and to think that many of us went through of these rituals without a thought, but now we're reminded to every hour on the telly. I wonder if your wife is taking in your ability for housework - thanks Ronald; enjoyable verse indeed - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
April 2, 2020 at 6:12 PM
you could produce a soap opera with this witty poem:-) great work Ronald... makes me wonder how someone with ocd would cope:-( hugs Jan xx
Wolf Avatar
March 23, 2020 at 8:03 PM
Hahahah! Every line another laugh, Ron. Thoroughly enjoyed this 'soap opera.' ~ Time to go hoard the hand sanitizer. LOL. Stay healthy now, Gershon
Michael Avatar
March 21, 2020 at 4:57 PM
Good one...Don't stop washing...
Koplin Avatar
March 21, 2020 at 3:49 PM
That's awesome, sounds like you've had one hell of a day. Great Poem!! Thanks for making me smile and laugh.
Thompson Avatar
March 21, 2020 at 4:07 PM
Thanks Mark, appreciate the comment. Best wishes...Ron :)
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