Lyndell Cadasse Poet I do not know?

I Was Supposed To Excited

I was supposed to be excited
Cause I was going to have a son
After all we were in love
Thought we were each other’s 
One thought killed those dreams
What mommies and daddies would
Say and it seems a child at 22
Just got harder than life could 
Ever throw at us cause we’re
Both at university they’d say
What do we know about love
And the way a child changes 
Two people

I was supposed to be excited
Cause she could’ve been 
Our daughter a name I 
Picked out for her she’ll never
Be called I was afraid to
Be a bold man and 
Fight for you for the 
Family I wanted instead
I let three lives die

I was supposed to be excited
But I was scared like you were
I should’ve held back my fears
You needed a man to hold
Your hand instead you found
A boy who hid behind your
Skirt where my son should
Be the one to hide and cry
Cause he doesn’t want 
Some strange Granddad 
To pick him up

I was supposed to be excited 
To tell my son as I stand behind
Him at fifteen too as I show 
Like his Granddad did with me
My first formal event tying that
Black tie the Sinatra knot he called
It instead 

I’m just broken writing
Not cause it’s my child’s
Birthday but cause he’ll 
Never do dinners on
Her birthday it’s a year 
Almost of your death day
I was supposed to be excited
But I’m not…

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