I wanted to disappear like smoke into the unknown air

I wanted to disappear like smoke into the unknown air, where lines aren't drawn and nothing is known, Into a realm where rules don't bind us and failures leave no shadows in the tried soul, But this world is a vast ocean of beauty drowned in a community with a feigned smile, Where our minds are drained by double facades and endless cunning, like an uninterrupted dream. I feel empty like an echo lost in time, I feel lost like a flag carried by the silent wind, I pay a cost in arid melancholy, a price of the soul that has forgotten its mute song, They say, "Let them in, don't fear the agony," but they don't know the ghosts I've met, I pretend not to care, I raise a stone wall and smile, but what happens inside I've not told. They say pain makes us stronger, but all it does is slowly numb the soul, You learn to smile, to play, while the heart forgets to feel the warmth of a gaze, I gather the shards every time a new scar tears in the silence of a night, Becoming harder to see through the rising mist, a shadow unraveling more and more. Though I've broken and shattered harder than ever, under the weight of silence surrounding me, The saddest part is that I won't blame you, for my soul believes it is my fault, For the blood spilled where no one wanted blood, for the cry when silence was loved, And yet, among my ruins, I continue to float, seeking light among the shadows that await me.