I used to Pray
In the quiet of the night
When the sun decides to save its light for someone worthy
When the stars twinkle in its wake
When the moon chases after her lover
I used to pray
But not with the whispered devotion of a Sister
No my prayers stirred something ugly in me
Something that festered slowly
And ripped
Something raw and heavy from my chest
They never made any sense anyways
But—
I used to pray
That someone would press as close as the silence clung to me
To sooth the storm in my mind
To join the stillness of the stars
As they watched the moon reach for her
In rooms they never touched
I used to pray
That it wouldn’t end in shattered glass
Just wrung and worn out
Left outside to brace the winds and storms
To be seen
Bruises and all
And one day let back inside with whispered touch
I used to pray you were mine
In the quiet ways
In the grocery lines
In the folded clothes
In the pause before a question asked
In the hum before a record plays
I used to pray you were mine
With the songs we sang
With the dances we learned
With the art we shared
With a gentle hand
Oh I used to pray to be loved
Like I love
And yet all remains the same
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