I used to Pray

In the quiet of the night When the sun decides to save its light for someone worthy When the stars twinkle in its wake When the moon chases after her lover I used to pray But not with the whispered devotion of a Sister No my prayers stirred something ugly in me Something that festered slowly And ripped Something raw and heavy from my chest They never made any sense anyways But— I used to pray That someone would press as close as the silence clung to me To sooth the storm in my mind To join the stillness of the stars As they watched the moon reach for her In rooms they never touched I used to pray That it wouldn’t end in shattered glass Just wrung and worn out Left outside to brace the winds and storms To be seen Bruises and all And one day let back inside with whispered touch I used to pray you were mine In the quiet ways In the grocery lines In the folded clothes In the pause before a question asked In the hum before a record plays I used to pray you were mine With the songs we sang With the dances we learned With the art we shared With a gentle hand Oh I used to pray to be loved Like I love And yet all remains the same