I need help

My depression has come back once again I need to hurt myself to stop the pain. I am fed up now and with lack of sleep To stop my pain I must cut deep My blood runs red and puddles on the floor Please I need help I can't cope anymore My mind is in turmoil strange thoughts in my head I want to be alive not lifeless and dead I want happiness and a long happy life Not cutting myself with a blunt carving knife. But the things that I want is just in a dream Because my depression has come back And my brain needs to scream.