I Let Porn In: The Secret That Almost Destroyed Me - Part 01

The day I let *********** in... I didn’t even know what I was letting in. I was just a curious boy 11, maybe 12 scrolling one evening. One video. One image. One pop-up. One “harmless” click. Boom. That was the beginning of the shadows. They say curiosity killed the cat — but they never said it could kill the conscience too. It started small: Late nights under blankets, volume down, brightness low, the glow of the screen like a secret candle. But this wasn’t light. This was darkness dressed in pixels. Lust that looked like pleasure, but left me empty every time. It never satisfies — it only invites you deeper. Every click, every scroll, every “just one more,” was digging a hole. I hated it. I hated what I became when no one was looking. I’d cry after watching. I’d pray and promise. Swear I’d stop. Then go back three days later. I told myself I was still a Christian. But how could I love God in public and lust in private? Guilt became my prison. Shame, my guard. And I served time. Years. One night, I was around 13 or 14, just being “playful” a dumb game with a family friend. Blindfolds. Taste tests. And I did something I regret. They say, "You didn’t go that far." But when God is holy, "Not that far" is already too far. I was spellbound by lust. I booked a bus to sin and paid the ticket, but it drove me further than I ever meant to go. It was with someone who trusted me. Someone who may never know. But I knew. And God knew. Since then, guilt became a shadow I couldn’t shake. I tried to keep it far from my family, but sin doesn't stay behind closed doors. It grows. And it all started... because I let **** in.