I Just Knew
A Poem Please Contest
Sponsor: John Lawless
in love with you forever
sorrow can heal wounds
through sickness and health
I grew that day…
I knew that day…
I had high hopes of a well spent future with him. Dreams of us sailing into the sunset and sharing sweet kisses underneath the constellations. They were our constellations. But that day…
-I just knew.
Working so hard was indeed a burden he bore and giving of himself was tiring him out even more than usual. Catching his breath was not easy. I saw it in his eyes that night. The same look he gave me when his sister had passed last year. A trip to the doctor confirmed it. Sarcoidosis. What? I have never heard of this disease before. An auto-immune inflammatory disease that affects multiple organs of the body. His immune system had been overreacting and his organs are slowly shutting down. His skin had been tightening and his joints had been sore.
There he was…staring out the window thinking about all the things he would miss as a daddy. There I was…staring at him thinking about all the things I would miss about…nothing but…him. My first love. My high school sweetheart. Twenty years is never long enough to spread our wings as committed lovers. “Our little girl is only ten”, I thought. How are we to explain this to her when she cannot see the damage physically? No surgeries to fix this, and no treatments to prevent it from getting worse. The love of my life was going to slowly die right before my eyes.
Months had flown and we had many days of struggle and tears, although we did create many exceptional memories to add to our photo book. It took some time to accept this but I think I tried the best I could. Many good days had passed but one chilly Saturday afternoon in October we held hands gathered around my dear Nicholas. He gave his last kiss to his Ella on her upper right cheek. I saw him take his last breath and he was gone…
-I just knew.
Years had passed, seasons had changed, and our little girl was going to be married in fifteen minutes. Oh, how she missed her daddy walking her down the aisle. She chose me to walk her down the aisle instead and of course, I was honored. The music started playing and our families stood up and Ella looked at me with a twinkled tear in her eye and said, “mom, daddy’s here, I can feel him giving me a kiss on my upper right cheek.” She had a beautiful beauty mark on her upper right cheek and her daddy used to kiss it every night before bed and whisper, "daddy loves you..." We looked at each other and we both knew…
-we just knew.
love of my life gone
married with daddy’s blessing
sacred beauty mark
Date Written: April 29, 2016
Copyright © Lu Loo | Year Posted 2016
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