Randy Johnson Poet I do not know?

I Hate Snowmen

(This is a fictional poem

I put a magic hat on my snowman and he came to life.
But then he had sex with my wife.
He had coal for eyes, a carrot for a nose and two arms that were made out of 
sticks.
Then my wife gave him a sausage for a ####.
My snowman and my wife fell in love and they wanted to be together.
But they needed to get to the North Pole because we were going to have warm  
weather.
At first misery was what I felt.
But we got warm weather sooner than expected and I enjoyed seeing him melt.

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