I Had a Feeling

I had a feeling about today. Not sure why but I knew I had to race to Iowa. I called my boss and told her I had to go. She was surprised, I rarely miss work. I have a strong feeling I have to go I told her. If I want to say goodbye to my mother. It had been a month and three days since I saw her. She had bone cancer, and was in a nursing home. She had been vibrant, full of life, and pretty until six months ago. She was so active, other people in her apartment building were jealous. Until six months ago. I drove four hours and saw a stranger. A tiny woman whose legs looked like toothpicks. She was flailing and groaning; she seemed to be in pain. I took her hand and tried to talk to her. She pulled away. This was not my mother, and yet it was. I looked at the clock. I had been here for forty-six minutes. It seemed like forty-six days. I began to pray that she could leave. She had a rattle in her chest, like a death rattle. She could no longer speak. My vibrant healthy mother had already left this body. I did not recognize this creature. She was gone by six that night. I was glad I had the feeling to go to Iowa that morning, Yet I would have rather remembered her the way she used to be.