I Drove Away From My Relatives

I was embarrassed for my gold-finding prowess was slim to none. I lived alone, in a mushroom hut, built sloppily for one. My leprechaun relatives were braggarts, and blowhards and mean. The things they said to put me down were evil and obscene. A friendly cardinal named Ed saw them for who they were. He told me I had to get away, he gave me ideas to stir. He showed me where Old Man Ligglie Howser buried all his gold. The man was long-gone from the spot, in a home for the truly old. I started digging up buckets of gold that very night. I was careful to hide all of these pieces, clearly out of sight I bought a red Ford 250 Truck with all the trimming. I drove away from my relatives with gold pieces clearly brimming. I gave a little gold to Magna-Fe, a shape-shifter-professional witch. She changed Cardinal Ed into a handsome lad, although he had a slight twitch. We married in a little church, in a ceremony so light. Ed turns into a cardinal in the evenings, so he can do his finder-flight. He finds the gold and I dig it up. These Leprechauns are so silly. They use their gardens, throwing the cauldrons willy-nilly. I have become famous in town, as the Leprechaun Gold-Finding Queen. And I have wiped my feet of my relatives who were always truly mean.