I Believe

I know that you are with me each and everyday! When I feel mischievous I see you in a blue jay. Then the times I feel I want to cry, I notice you're a monarch flying by. The nutshells I often find with in my yard, yeah that piece to the puzzle wasn't even hard, for me to figure out, without a doubt, because when those are cracked open it looks just like an owls face, and those there owls were a trade mark all over your place. I hope you knew you meant so much to me, and you were the reason I was able to be, a better version of me. I wish you would visit me in my dreams at night! I wish I was able to see your smile so bright! If only I could talk to you and let you know how I feel, if only My vivid mind could just make you real. I wish I could have one more kiss or one more hug, if God would just let you come down from way up above, so I once again can feel your unconditional love!!! I truly didn't know how much it really meant, when together we all had time well spent. The love between a grandmother and granddaughter well there's nothing one could compare, maybe that's why the survivors' pain is a hard one to bare. I wasn't even old enough to truly appreciate all that you did, and I know once I became a teenager I was no longer your sweet little kid. I know I hold on to a boat load of regret. I am aware I showed you a lot of disrespect. As an adult I have the ability to often reflect, and you can bet, there was a lot going on in my life that you just didn't get. The never ending days of abuse I had to endure, the happenings that occurred that left me unsure, of who I was and where you were. Now as an adult I can finally see who you were and what all you meant to me, if only we, could once again be, a reality and not just a memory!