I Am Pretending To Be Normal Today

I am pretending to be normal today. I have been doing it for two hours. Sitting here, waiting for this side of me to be discovered by Joe, my first and last husband. He walked through once and said a big enthusiastic ‘good morning Sweetheart.’ I must be normal because this did not irritate me as much as it does usually before coffee. I tried to make myself appear normal, so I waved, but I did not speak. If your black cloud is not engulfing you in the early part of the day, you are the weird one. The second time he ventured into the living room where I was comatose in my recliner, He asked “What are you watching?” In an accusatory, all-knowing-me kind of way. “Ghost story stuff,” I said, casually, in a really normal-sounding way, but my voice cracked. Others watch ghost stuff, and they are normal right? My hair is standing straight up, and there are goosebumps all over my arms right now. “Do you want some eggs?” More normal conversation from my one-and-only. This does sound normal, but I am full of cookies to the point of bursting, so I decline. “I had cookies,” I say. Normal, right? “Do you want to do anything today?” He has failed to notice how normal I am, so I decide to give up. I flip off the TV, and listen to my frightened heart clunking in relief. Normal, shormal. Never again!