I
. This fate is not final and irrevocable. Hope was not made
to exist. dum spiro, spero I face battles with Id as my sole
weapon. Always defeated, conquered by my conceited
self, I come to God—to Him I surrender, to Him I give my
vow. History was
made to endure—
to be our gover-
ness, to be victo-
rious. dum vivi-
mus, vivamus.
And now, as my
true battle unra-
vels, the only
weapon I had
has become my
foe. Defeated
once more I
come to You for
Your refuge, and
to You I pledge
again my vows;
but none had
lived long. Never
had I won a fight against Id and never was I a victor.
vae victis. As for this defeat not to continue, I would be
more than willing to sacrifice my sanity, to give it up if this
will also be the grounds for me to be far from You…
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