How To Start a Fight

My wife and I were sitting at our table at her high school reunion. She kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink all alone. I asked my wife, "Do you know him?" She sighed, "Yes, he's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear that he hasn't ever since then seen one day sober." "My God!" I said looking at him drunk all alone, "Who would think that a person could celebrate for so long?" ..and then the fight started. I'll be out of the hospital soon.