How To Make Babies
Never bake them in an oven
That would be wrong
Making babies should never be a mistake
Rub two sticks together in a rainforest
Use a flashlight under the cover of night
If you get lost use matches not rocks
Babies hate rocks and friction
They prefer hugs and kisses
Don’t expect to discover them under cabbage leaves
If you find them dancing with leprechauns stop!
Take a picture and develop it in the womb
It is advised to use parents in making babies
Have them face in the same direction for best results
If you must use a parachute open it. Pull the cord
If you want babies to work get them visas
Give birth first. Cut the umbilical cord
And feed them soft foods. Avoid bazookas
Avoid contraception and asteroids from space
Hospitals are safer for the newborn
Babies come out easy on their own
The ones from Madagascar grow wild
Rumor has it they come from rubber trees
Some are on sale wrapped in plastic
Found in isle four at the supermarket
Because there is a clean up in isle sex….six
You cannot always believe what you read
Some say they come from factories in China
From under tables in Indonesia
From tanks in Afghanistan loaded with ammo
It is easier to make babies at home when you can
Behind closed doors and loud noises
We understand Madagascar has a sale on rubber walls
Which sounds delightful to install and to have more fun
And to protect the other children from sounds
From things they can’t understand
Making a baby is easier than you think
But you should do it before you sleep
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