How Could It Be
How could Mom know what it was like to grow up in a family of six kids
She was an only child until she got her much awaited baby brother
Then her maternal instincts kicked in at the ripe old age of four
She was ecstatic at becoming a big sister and little mother
She naturally believed that intense loving bond
Simply appears out of nowhere without intervention
How could she know what it was like to grow up in a family of six kids
That maternal instinct among siblings sure would have been awesome
Alas I was the eldest and my maternal instinct never kicked in
I think all I would have needed was a little nudging
I never realized how precious my support would have been
I remember feeling I needed to get out of the way so I did
There was a subtle underlying stress hovering quietly throughout
Really it was everyone for themselves
We all went our separate ways
Well, the eldest anyway
Leaving the younger three to fend for themselves
Don’t get me wrong nobody was ever mistreated
It’s just that there could have been so much more
More caring more encouraging more loving
Not once do I remember
Reading a bedtime story to my young siblings
Not once do I remember
Playing with them or making the least effort to entertain them
A birthday was nothing more than a chance to eat cake
Unless it was our turn, it just didn’t concern us
I do remember vaguely more interaction and chatter
The month that led to Christmas and that sort of brought us closer
Not once do I remember
Making any special effort
To show them they were special and loved
How could that be?
I truly hope the problem is with my memory
It’s a little late to ask for a second chance
Copyright © Line Gauthier | Year Posted 2017
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