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Hovering Moon

Where hovering Moon touches field of ripened corn

Lone ragged tree contrives to fracture perfectness.

Heavens jostling myriads eager to witness how Moon 

Responds to such deliberate and provocative arrogance.


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Where the hovering Moon touches the field of ripened corn

A lone ragged tree contrives to fracture the perfectness.

Heavens jostling myriads are eager to witness how the Moon

Will respond to such deliberate and provocative arrogance.

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Michelle Mac Donald Date: 8/15/2025 9:25:00 AM Hmm..difficult to chose one over the other, both are wonderful! The second might feel like it echoes the first! Hugs, Mikki:) Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 8/19/2025 2:44:00 PM Thanks, Mikki. Your kind comments are gratefully and warmly recieved. :) john

Richard Lamoureux Date: 8/5/2025 11:41:00 AM It’s hard to pick which one I like better. Both are well expressed. Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 8/6/2025 8:13:00 AM I too have to agree with your comment regarding which of the two sounds the best, Richard. But if pushed, I would say the first one. It sounds more like Chinese poetry when you read it out: abrupt with no superfluous words. Many thanks for the visit - cheers, Richard! :) john

David Crandall Date: 8/3/2025 7:44:00 PM interesting personification. I'm joining the myriads, wondering how the moon will respond. Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 8/4/2025 12:46:00 AM Stimulating thought that, David...could be subject matter for another poem. Many thanks for the comment. Cheers! :) john

Susan Ashley Date: 8/2/2025 9:10:00 AM Dear John, you present a thoughtful dilemma with two versions of your beautiful and thought-provoking poem. The lines; "Lone ragged tree contrives to fracture perfectness" and "how Moon/Responds to such deliberate and provocative arrogance" sets up the tension/conflict and anticipation/resolution in the poem with finesse. The open ending allows us to wonder. I prefer the first version, as I feel it's poetry whereas the second version I feel is prose. But I have no knowledge of Chinese poetry to offer lol. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 8/2/2025 2:56:00 PM I agree entirely with everything you say, Susan. As for Chinese poetry...I too am also no expert. From what I can see of it (and I admire it very much) the poetry is very terse and abrupt. There is no use of any superfluous words. Everything is very economical to the point of extreme. My hero, Ezra Pound, was a big fan of Chinese poetry...I can well understand why. Many thanks for your visit and comments, Susan...you know of course you are always most welcome here. Best regards! :) john

Brenda Chiri Date: 7/31/2025 7:52:00 AM You are just too poetic my friend;) loved it of course I don’t think you have disappointed!;) Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/31/2025 8:00:00 AM Thank you, Brenda Lee. No one has been more generous than you with your lovely comments. In affection. :) john

Crystol Woods Date: 7/29/2025 1:04:00 PM Two choices?! Both look and sound great... I'm partial to the second I think. Love the personification qualities. Xo Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/30/2025 11:38:00 AM Thanks, Crystol. It seems just about everyone prefers the 2nd (the original) version. Chinese poetry is very 'abrupt'. I think the less Anglo-Saxon 'joining' words the better. Either way...I am more than happy with it. Cheers! :) john

Millard Lowe Date: 7/28/2025 9:05:00 AM Another profound canvassing, John. Within me, many deep thoughts were provoked by the allegorical messaging in this poem's canvases. For example, in one awareness, I felt how both the moon and the sage tree reflected faith and hope in spiritual resurrection from the "downings" experienced in life's trials and tribulations. That's how deep this inspiring share was to me, my fellow poet. Thanks for the share. ONE. Peace and Love. Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/28/2025 3:22:00 PM Thank you, Millard. I really appreciate your kind and generous comments...I also enjoyed your own interpretation of the poem...I guess we all see things in a slightly different light to each other. :) john

Valsa George Date: 7/27/2025 10:28:00 PM The uninterrupted movement of the moon is obstructed by the tall rugged tree. It should be seen as an act of arrogance... standing in the way of the Night Queen's royal procession :) :) Though both the quatrains are almost similar, I prefer the latter. Well done friend. Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/28/2025 6:10:00 AM Loved your comment, Valsa. Much obliged! :) john

Rowena Velasco Date: 7/27/2025 8:55:00 PM Love the image of the lone tree challenging the moon—such a bold, almost playful vibe. The second version flows more smoothly, but both paint a really striking scene. That last line is gold! Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/28/2025 6:07:00 AM The poem was inspired by a picture I saw when reading some Chinese poetry a day or two ago. An enormous, perfectly round Moon seemingly brushing a field of ripening crops. The only thing that spoilt the perfect roundness was a ragged tree in the foreground that interrupted the Moon's silhouette with its thin protruding branches. I found it really quite compelling tell the truth...hence the poem :) john

Sara Etgen-Baker Date: 7/27/2025 4:53:00 PM I can see the difference between the two versions....not sure if I prefer one over the other...but probably the 2d one. Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/28/2025 5:55:00 AM It would seem by the comments, that you all prefer the 2nd one. So did I originally...not so sure now - lol. :) john

Mystic Rose Rose Date: 7/27/2025 10:08:00 AM The moon is very flexible John, it knows how to go around and bathe everything in sight, even a lone ragged tree. :) Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/27/2025 4:05:00 PM I really like your reply, Rose. All rather thought-provoking! Many thanks! :) john

Tom Woody Date: 7/27/2025 8:12:00 AM I see what you've done here. Perfect grammar vs. poetic license. Craig would applaud your first draft, he's a word miser. I'm in the fence but I tend to write more along the lines of your second offering. In any case, the poem itself makes an interesting commentary in the human condition, ie, ego issues Login to Reply John Fleming Date: 7/27/2025 4:03:00 PM The more I read it...the more I am convinced I prefer the stripped down version. When I read short Chinese poems they appear in both sorts of styles. All rather confusing really. Tom Woody Date: 7/27/2025 8:13:00 AM Ha! We must have written comments at the same time. Sorry, no knowledge of Chinese poetry and not familiar with any Chinese poets here though I'm sure there are some

John Fleming Date: 7/27/2025 8:11:00 AM Prefer the first version myself. If there are any persons who know a lot more about Chinese poetry than I obviously do...please make some constructive comments. Much obliged! :) john Login to Reply