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Housekeeping Not a Strong Suit With the Missus

Housekeeping not a strong suit with the missus (***warning ungapatchka language ahead***) regarding following lines courtesy the missus, who adventitiously, inadvertently, unknowingly allowed, enabled and provided inspiration I attest Frau Harris inspired me as she lies abed. Flush with rage the spouse will become allied if reference made how she buzzfeeds disorder altercation especially likely if divorce blurted making me wish to experience (immediately) bartered bride, when mine pointed finger doth nonverbally chide markedly appalling untidy predilection she blithely exhibits woeful scant interest to maintain can-do spirit affecting plea zing aesthetic humble abode ofttimes slacking off cleaning trail of abomination, which talent includes unwittingly cultivating qua primordial soup possibly duplicating conditions when life originated (bajillion years ago) on planet Earth witnessed courtesy think gummy, groovy, gooey, gloppy, (nippy, nap, noopy) protoplasmic slimy oozing blob (starring Steve McQueen) amoeba like swallowing small towns with names such as Chester Springs, Downingtown, Phoenixville, & Royersford hungering, hinting, and hankering to hasten home hearing Harris harridan hooligan hoopla conniption purportedly linked into order issued courtesy board of health for hen pecking wife to hustle & make house beautiful for Biden (accompanied with hit parade) announcing (yea) at long last Republican administration overhaul which fête yours truly slated to host determined (weeks ago), thus necessitating legally wedded counterpart to apply elbow grease in tandem to render spic & span where unsightly food scraps, soiled clothes, scattered papers, et cetera strewn helter skelter, the disarray the culmination of 5+ years occupying these digs in Schwenksville, Pa. Upon being told "get the place in ship shape order" she went ballistic like bupkis fired out me gluteus maximus, (whereat I couldn't help but think ICBM) yea, an incongruous thought as she rattled vitriolic, colorful expletives coarse language enough would make sailor blush shutting his yapper uttering before he even uttered "shiver me timbers," hence clatter and din created cacophonous noise as my fair lady affected one woman siege warfare as pots and pans flew pell mell thru air while I took refuge in fallout shelter unused since total mortal kombat destroyed major swath of webbed wide world, global debacle our dear leader triggered (when in pensive mood) he lobbed weapons of mass destruction after being axed to "go back home" meaning his mother planet Uranus.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

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