Housecat

I am a housecat now Reduced from a lioness to this quieter, Softer Altogether weaker specimen Propped on cushions I sit by the window Staring out at the world through Hooded eyes Veiling my anguish behind a façade of contentment Pretending I don’t miss the excitement The thrill of prowling night-time streets Silhouetted against flashes of neon light Pretending I do not still taste it on The tip of my coral-pink tongue - The dizzying tang of liquor The brine of ocean air The sour and sweetness of a strange man’s breath I have become a wall flower Forsaking my place in the midst of it all To remain safely on my perch Gathering dust on this lonely shelf I could lie and pretend I was trying to revert To find my inner child Chasing my old virgin chastity That fragile elusion A flimsy prize I can never reclaim But I have no use for lies anymore I am too fatigued to keep spinning them from my Black widow’s web I must just own up to the truth In the end all this - My isolation, my window-gazing - It’s all just running It’s my futile attempt to flee the truth To duck out of the race Turning a blind eye to the realisation that I am actually afraid I’ve become too much of a coward now To face the overwhelming world out there To see my face mirrored in its ugly brightness In its failure to delight In it’s motley collection of surprises and complexities I am terrified and therefore bound Held prisoner by chains of fear Rooted to these cushions I primp and purr While from beneath my fluttering lashes, From this feline eyes of mine A single regretful tear leaks out And splashes across my tethered wrists.