Hospital Food

I was working for John Arnold fitting out some shower screens. "Make sure you're wearing armored pants" had me wonder what he means. Then he handed me an order form; John Booth’s house was my trip. ‘Boothys’ bloody heeler dog snuck up behind and gave a nip. I screamed out "You flamin’ mongrel!" My tools flew into the air. ‘Boothy’ stood at the door and grinned at my immediate despair. I quickly lifted up my pants and blood was flowing everywhere. "I'll ring the hospital” he said - “Now you get on over there". Sitting in outpatients waiting for a doctor to be free, a nurse said I could be an hour. That really didn't suit me. I wandered past the wards and said g'day to those upon their own, then started yarning with an old bloke who also was alone. He told me of his troubles, and all the pills he had to take; on how he had trouble eating. How he yearned for a steak, 'cause now he's old and toothless; only soft foods tasting great, then uttered "Eat these roasted almonds on this plate." I gorged on them; they're beautiful, and they had that smoky taste. He said "Go on and eat the lot, they'll only go to waste" And so I did; fifty or more, then thanked him and said good-bye. Walked back to the outpatients where the nurse came to my side. "Where have you been?" she’s asking me, "The doc’s been calling you. We thought you must have got impatient and decided to shoot through." "Oh no" I said, "I’ve been yarning with an old bloke while I wait, and I ate all his roasted almonds that he offered on a plate." The nurse looked at me; her face went pale; like in a state of shock. "You didn't eat them did you?" I said to her "Of course - why not?" "His 'rellies' bring them weekly; they think he loves their little treat. The chocolate ‘round them yes he does - those almonds he can't eat."