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Hit and Run - TRI

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Trimeric Poetry Contest sponsored by Janice Canerdy


He left the house in disarray
When cautioned flew into a rage,
A brat he was who got his way
This lad was spoilt from a young age.

When cautioned flew into a rage
And uttered words best left unsaid;
The mother cried and tears were shed.

A brat he was who got his way
And treated all with disrespect
His bad behaviour went unchecked.

This lad was spoilt from a young age
But then one day he went too far
He died in mangled stolen car.

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Kim Rodrigues

Date: 10/26/2024 9:08:00 AM

We always hope for each other, but some keep going in the wrong direction!

Paul Callus
Date: 10/27/2024 2:55:00 AM

Many parents do their best, but children are influenced by others. Thank you for stopping by, Kim. Have a blessed day // paul

Brenda Chiri

Date: 10/12/2024 1:48:00 PM

A very short yet sad lyrical piece my friend!;)

Paul Callus
Date: 10/26/2024 4:00:00 PM

Always a pleasure to receive your visit & feedback, dear Brenda...thank you :) // paul

Nancy Kaufman

Date: 9/15/2024 6:53:00 AM

Dear Paul, I wish you a belated CONGRATULATIONS on your first place win on this one. I guess the young man and the car were both recycled for parts? Blessings to you and I am sincerely grateful for your earlier comments on my 2 cat poems. Enjoy the weekend.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 3:08:00 PM

Congratulations are always welcome, dear Nancy...they don't have a sell-by date :) Thank you for the comments and wit. ~ Regards & blessings // paul

Joseph May

Date: 9/6/2024 10:51:00 AM

A sad ending for the brat, the way was paved for his own destruction , best wishes in the Contest

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 2:11:00 PM

Thank you for reading and giving your views, Joseph. Who lives by the sword dies by the sword! Regards // paul

Crystol Woods

Date: 9/4/2024 8:56:00 AM

Oh wow...tragic! Almost a didactic poem, cautionary tale. You've written this beautifully and deserve this win! Congratulations my friend! Xo

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 3:05:00 PM

Thank you so much Crystol; glad you enjoyed it, and your congrats are appreciated. Best regards, my friend // paul

Karen Jones

Date: 9/3/2024 10:08:00 PM

Congratulations on your wonderful write winning!

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 1:41:00 PM

Thank you so much, Karen. Your visit is appreciated Regards // paul

Sam Kauffman

Date: 9/3/2024 11:28:00 AM

Paul, congratulations on your podium win! A truly tragic and heartbreaking story of a child without boundaries. A lesson about boundaries for all of us. Thank you for this poem. Hats off and high fives. Blessings to you!

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 1:57:00 PM

Your lovely comments / feedback and congrats are much appreciated, Sam; thank you! Regards & blessings // paul

Janice Canerdy

Date: 9/2/2024 8:22:00 PM

Paul, CONGRATS on your podium win with this sad, so realistic piece. Janice

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 1:47:00 PM

Thank you Janice for liking my poem and giving it a high placement. I'm looking forward to entering your next Trimeric contest :) Regards // paul

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 9/2/2024 12:56:00 PM

I enjoyed reading your wonderful yet sad write. Great Ending... "Good Luck" Have a wonderful day writing away..................

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 1:39:00 PM

Glad you enjoyed my humble offering, Paula; thank you for reading and commenting. Regards // paul

Susan Lawrence

Date: 9/2/2024 6:58:00 AM

Paul, Your sharp wit and storytelling is in fine form here . The human element of greed and disrespect illuminated at the end. Sending you all good thoughts- big hugs I have missed you. Hope all is well in your world, love Susan :)

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 1:38:00 PM

Thank you for the delightful feedback, dear Susan...and it is nice to be missed!! I have not been very active on Soup this year, mostly due to health reasons and other life priorities. But I can assure you that at present life is being good to me :) Warm regards, hugs & love to you my friend. // paul

Tom Woody

Date: 9/1/2024 3:33:00 PM

Quite skillful Paul with a moral lesson to boot

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 1:09:00 PM

Thank you, Tommy; I'm still wondering who is most to blame in such cases! ~ Regards // paul

Jan Allison

Date: 9/1/2024 1:39:00 PM

eek this is hard hitting in so many ways Paul, sad but unfortunately it is an all too commonplace these days - why they call it joy riding is beyond me:-( hugs jan xx

Paul Callus
Date: 9/17/2024 1:07:00 PM

Hi Jan; joy-riding could so easily end in tragedy. I remember young teenagers driving their parents' "borrowed" cars and 'playing' "chicken", driving from opposite directions and seeing who gives in at the very last moment. It was awful witnessing some die at such a young age ... alas, losers and no winners! ~ Hugs // paul