His ... Smile

It's the way I look at him, the way he smiles back... but I don't know how to feel, will I forever be confused about these chills? I look down and wonder... Who means the most, who's love means more?! It's the way that I look at him, it's the way he smiles back... Hmph... What does this really mean?! I know its not love, well is it? No. Standing at the door... Not desiring to walk through. Fear...? No. I'm just very unsure. All I know is... that smile... It's the way he looks at me, the way he catches my eye. Sometimes I fight myself, Try and fix myself... but now... I'm stuck. So, I go through the side door never look back at the front porch...