Here and There

Which way should I take? When both lead to despair, The sweet calm of the lake Or ever-changing rush of air. I want to stay right here With the fish and my wrinkled toes, Outside the air brings with it fear And where it leads nobody knows. But the lake is dark and deep Disguising things I want to hide, And should I, in my numbness, sleep There’s less chance I’d wake as i would outside. And on the bank there’s mud and dirt And friends who’ll want to talk to me And with my bad luck I might slip, get hurt; I’d rather be numb; I’d rather stay free. But now they’re screaming, calling out And threatening to pull out the boat, I try to sink, to drown their shouts But something inside keeps me afloat I sigh and slowly drift ashore A smile freshly smeared on my face I tell them I’m cold, they don’t ask me more, I look back at the water; I feel out of place Because there I was numb, as I’d swim and I’d dive, Here I’m cold, wet and glum, but here I’m alive.