Help
Help
I am chocking, drowning
You are there, there for me
Thanks
I see you
I have a plan
Plan for escape
I save and hide the plans
I hide them from myself so skillfully
I cannot find them
I will never get out
It is useless
I know all the routes
I know all the right answers
They choke in my throat
I am a trout
I swim
Way up stream
I do not know where I am
I am lost
I can help others
It is the right thing to do
Reach out and get tangled up
In the knots
Of other people
I stifle screams
I stifle breath
I am stifled
I am hot and on fire
I am burning
I have passion
Or is it irritation
I do not trust myself anymore
You are there
You do not trust me either
Only my children trust me
What good I have done shines through them
It lights my path
It guides me
To the pathway out
Out to the edge of freedom
Tree guarded all around the edge
It beckons to me
The light I seek glistens off the leaves
It is reflected on the creeks and in the ponds
So idyllic but deeply peaceful
Is it real
Can true peace exist?
For just one moment
Long enough to take a deep breath
Draw it in and take it back with me
Back to the tunnel of my life
The twists and turns that are my lost life
The map and plans I have drawn draw me back
To finish the unfinishable tasks of my life
I want to run back out
I promise myself to run back out
To run upon the crippled legs that cannot carry me away
To seek the inner peace that eludes me
To push open, with tired arms
The choking curtains of responsibility
I feel renewed with new fresh breath
Now it is not so choking
I see you in the distance
You send a wave to me
I catch it and put it in my pocket
With my map
With my plan
With hope
the future will glide on the wave you sent to me.
Copyright © Lori Dzierzek | Year Posted 2008
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