Help

Help I am chocking, drowning You are there, there for me Thanks I see you I have a plan Plan for escape I save and hide the plans I hide them from myself so skillfully I cannot find them I will never get out It is useless I know all the routes I know all the right answers They choke in my throat I am a trout I swim Way up stream I do not know where I am I am lost I can help others It is the right thing to do Reach out and get tangled up In the knots Of other people I stifle screams I stifle breath I am stifled I am hot and on fire I am burning I have passion Or is it irritation I do not trust myself anymore You are there You do not trust me either Only my children trust me What good I have done shines through them It lights my path It guides me To the pathway out Out to the edge of freedom Tree guarded all around the edge It beckons to me The light I seek glistens off the leaves It is reflected on the creeks and in the ponds So idyllic but deeply peaceful Is it real Can true peace exist? For just one moment Long enough to take a deep breath Draw it in and take it back with me Back to the tunnel of my life The twists and turns that are my lost life The map and plans I have drawn draw me back To finish the unfinishable tasks of my life I want to run back out I promise myself to run back out To run upon the crippled legs that cannot carry me away To seek the inner peace that eludes me To push open, with tired arms The choking curtains of responsibility I feel renewed with new fresh breath Now it is not so choking I see you in the distance You send a wave to me I catch it and put it in my pocket With my map With my plan With hope the future will glide on the wave you sent to me.