Hello To Goodbye

Saying hello to goodbye is on my mind often I find. While I am living in what seems to be a bad dream and the words refuse to form correctly in my mind, or I probably would have already screamed. Although, I have realized through my pain that the past is never left behind. It is always aware of where you are at anytime. The past does not always love nor is it always kind. Instead the past gets its revenge by testing you when you’re weak, as it waits to see if the hate will be the words that you speak. I have to admit it really is hard for me to know which way to go, or what decision I should make. Because of fear I hold on to what I know, and for now it is saying hello to goodbye. Yes hello, no more goodbyes. Somewhere deep inside, I believe I will rest with ease, knowing my heart is no longer on the line. But of course first I would have to heal from an incurable disease that has a curse upon me, refusing to let go of the grip it has on me. And from this broken heart it has given me has made me wonder where is comfort where is peace. Because to be honest right now peace is nowhere in sight, only this curse of a broken heart is with me through the night. I am unsure if this incurable disease will ever leave. All I know is that because of fear I hold on to what I know, and for now its saying hello to goodbye. Yes hello, oh goodbye. Oh Hello goodbyes. Goodbye, goodbyes. Have a nice life!