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Notes About The Poem

Heartbreak - Emotive Poem

Your precious life they could not save
I’m standing by your tiny grave
My grief stabs me like a sharp knife
They could not save your precious life
 
For forty weeks I’d carried you
When you arrived your skin was blue
I never saw sweet rosy cheeks
I’d carried you for forty weeks
 
My bitter tears they will not cease
Born sleeping, at eternal peace
I’d waited for so many years
They will not cease, my bitter tears
 
All my friends say in time I’ll heal
But they don’t know the pain I feel
I’ll miss her till my dying day ...
in time I’ll heal all my friends say


FICTIONAL POEMSwap quatrain Contest
Sponsored by Emile Pinet

06/09/20

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Aditi Mishra Date: 7/13/2020 9:17:00 AM Your moving words are beautiful and heartfelt Jan! Congratulations on your top win. Much love :) Login to Reply

Michael Tor Date: 7/12/2020 9:17:00 PM Jan so heartfelt and full of emotion. Incredible piece deserving of a top honor. Congratulations... Login to Reply

JCB Brul Date: 7/12/2020 1:16:00 AM Such a soulful creation...Congratulations on your TOP WIN!! Keep coming. Login to Reply

Anisha Dutta Date: 7/11/2020 7:18:00 AM Feeling so happy to see youon TOP. Congrats. Hugs. Login to Reply

Reason A. Poteet Date: 7/11/2020 12:39:00 AM Congrats on a sad memory written down. I like the title, very discriptive. Kudos too on your win in Emile's contest. Login to Reply

Regina Mcintosh Date: 7/10/2020 7:57:00 PM This is "great" writing!!! A wonder and inspiration that I love. Congrats and thanks for your expressive poetry :) God bless you Login to Reply

John Watt Date: 7/10/2020 6:50:00 PM Back to wish you a heartfelt congratulations, Jan! A well-deserved win with this emotional swap quatrain. Hugs ~ John Login to Reply

Janis Medders Tobechi Date: 7/10/2020 6:37:00 PM Congratulations on your top win Jan. Login to Reply

Tom Cunningham Date: 7/10/2020 3:48:00 PM Back with congrats on your top win Jan Tom Login to Reply

Mike Miller Date: 7/10/2020 1:14:00 PM That’s a Very moving and beautiful poem Jan. A worthy winner of the swap quatrain competition. Login to Reply

Emile Pinet Date: 7/10/2020 1:06:00 PM Congratulations Jan, your touching poem (HEARTBREAK - EMOTIVE POEM) earned "First Place" in my contest, it was a very sad poem to judge but the content and your poetic skills raised it to the top, well done my friend, Emile. Login to Reply

Joanna Daniel Date: 6/12/2020 1:04:00 AM Such sadness drips from every line, this is the worst thing that any woman dreads..expressed well, Jan:) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/12/2020 2:44:00 AM I'm so lucky its fiction for me... but stark reality for other women:-( hugs Jan xx

Paul Schneiter Date: 6/11/2020 7:30:00 AM Jan, sadly, all too many women will identify with this emotive poem. You capture harsh reality. In so doing, you Jan, all too many women will identify with this powerful emotive poem. It will help them to know they are not alone; hence, you performed a service. Thank you for writing/posting it. Hugs, Paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/11/2020 9:22:00 AM Thanks for dropping by Paul - sadly it seems to be quite a taboo subject but its so wonderful when people open up and are relieved to talk about their loss. Hugs Jan xx Paul Schneiter Date: 6/11/2020 7:32:00 AM My comment got scrambled. Sorry. Paul

Jennifer Proxenos Date: 6/11/2020 1:34:00 AM Hi Jan I am so happy for you that this was a fictional poem I have a similar story but mine is true. I lost my darling first baby son after I had given birth to him at 5 days old - he was rushed to the best Pediatric Hospital in Johannesburg, so I never saw him, his tiny grave is only a couple of metres away from my fathers grave. I felt I wanted to share this with you. Love and hugs, Jennifer. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/11/2020 9:17:00 AM aww Jennifer I am so sorry you went through this, I have on-line friends who had a stillbirth and we were talking about their loss hence the poem. my heart goes out to you, thanks for sharing :-( hugs Jan xx

Aditi Mishra Date: 6/10/2020 2:29:00 PM This is such a heartfelt sad write Jan! Your own pours a great muse here. Best wishes. Blessings and love to you :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 2:53:00 PM thanks Aditi:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta Date: 6/10/2020 2:03:00 PM One of my ancestors had 23-children; only five reached adulthood, and they died in combat during WWI. Sometimes life is more than any heart should bear. Fine write! Aloha! Rico Login to Reply Rico Leffanta Date: 6/11/2020 1:19:00 PM Another ancestor had 9-sons, and her husband and all nine sons died in far-flung corners of the British Empire serving King and Country. Instead of grandchildren, her reward was the tallest monument in the cemetery honouring her sacrifice! I suspect she would rather have had a grandchild! Aloha! Rico Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 2:49:00 PM oh gosh Rico that is a huge family and such tragic endings to young lives:-( hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger Date: 6/10/2020 11:24:00 AM This is absolutely beautifully done; it is sad but true. Heartfelt. Terrific. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 12:12:00 PM thanks Caren I do surprise people that I can write a decent poem from time to time and not just poopy ones:-) hugs Jan xx

Mohan Chutani Date: 6/10/2020 8:11:00 AM Jan, lovely quatrain. Should be placed well. Best. Mohan Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 10:20:00 AM Thanks Mohan:-) hugs Jan x

Paul Callus Date: 6/10/2020 4:55:00 AM Beautiful...and yet so sad, Jan. It's something I experienced not long ago when one of my nieces lost her baby in similar circumstances. Hugs // paul Login to Reply Mohan Chutani Date: 6/10/2020 8:12:00 AM Paul, sorry to hear that. My best wishes. Mohan Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 6:12:00 AM aww Paul that is so so sad, I hope she gets a lot of support from friends and family:-( hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie Date: 6/10/2020 1:22:00 AM G'day Jan … this verse is really touching Jan. The folk who go through this perhaps appear to heal but I'm not sure if they do - thank you Jan - Lindsay Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 3:30:00 AM I don't think they ever heal Lindsay it must be such a traumatic experience:-) hugs Jan xx

Mystic Rose Rose Date: 6/9/2020 11:06:00 PM You touched a very sensitive subject here that many ca relate to. WE are hanging in here Jan, I hope you are too. These are challenging times ahead, but we can make it if we believe in a better tomorrow, love and prayers sent to you xo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 3:30:00 AM Thanks Vi - all good here our Island is currently virus free and long may it stay that way:-) hugs Jan xx

Michael Tor Date: 6/9/2020 10:25:00 PM Jan this is so sad. You make us feel a surreal pain in this one. Exceptionally written. Hope you are well. Michael Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/10/2020 3:29:00 AM Thanks Michael, 20 days virus free on our Island so all is good!!!:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 6/9/2020 8:11:00 PM A tender heart-breaker, Jan. Does the mental pain, does the hole in the soul, ever heal? Superb contest entry, Jan! So glad it's fiction. :) gw Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/9/2020 8:13:00 PM I know from people who have suffered such tragedy the pain never goes away:-( hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham Date: 6/9/2020 5:14:00 PM Such a sad verse Jan, you often hear of it, I can't imagine what it must be like for mothers in hospital being amongst other mothers. Good luck Tom Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/9/2020 5:27:00 PM You are so right Tom the heartbreak of seeing other new mums going home with their baby and you with empty arms must be unbearable:-( hugs Jan x

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders Date: 6/9/2020 4:12:00 PM I'm crying but happy to know it's a fictional piece, Jan. That kind of pain never goes away. You wrote of the feelings so well, I would have thought it was from personal experience. Good luck in the contest. Blessings, Rhonda xx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 6/9/2020 4:18:00 PM Thanks Rhonda, sadly there people who can relate ... It was based on chatting to an on line friend and another couple of ladies joining in - I was in tears at the end of the chat but they all said how good it is to chat at what can often be an almost taboo subject. Hugs Jan xx

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