Heart of Gold

Why do I do it to myself. why do I expect everyone to be so honest and so open I feel like my trust has been broken so many times that i'm in denial that all people are dishonest and disloyal. I go into everything expecting everyone to act the same, but in this world there are people with evil intentions. What makes them say what they say? and what makes them do what they do? Do they know how they treat people? So many questions that will never be answered. maybe that's my problem. I expect reasons for the way people treat me. why do people do the things they do to me and why do i allow it and what are the warning signs? Is it just me am I thinking too much into it? am I crazy because I feel its making me crazy. I'm just a ball of emotions and i get so frustrated when I can't solve the puzzles of the unknown. I wish I could understand or read people to see what they are about before my "lala land" mentality screws me over once again. Why can't I just expect the worst from every one why must my heart be golden?