Lin Lane Poet Ghazal

Notes About The Poem

He Turned Away: a Ghazal

A Ghazal, rhyming the first line of each couplet, beginning with the 2nd.

I stand before you to beg and plead, but you turn away.
Your pride refuses to let you concede. You turn away. 

You continue to pretend that everything is alright.
I can't give you the help you need. Again, you turn away. 

You are losing the battle but I keep holding you tight. 
I love you, though you made me bleed. And still you turn away. 

I'm trying to help you by telling you that you must fight. 
Stop giving in to the habit you feed - you turn away. 

You need the will to leave the darkness and search for the light;
from evil demons you must be freed, but you turn away.

I have to leave because I can no longer bear the sight
of you killing yourself... drinking with greed.  You turn away.

Catherine lives in constant fear for her own life;  and despite
her pleas you will not take heed. She's sorry you turn away. 


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   March 21st, 2016               Ghazal Contest for Tim Hicks
   14 syllables per line: Checked with howmanysyllables.com

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Pashang Salehi August 5, 2016 at 1:13 AM Wow, I didn't read this before..... Its beautiful....

Vladislav Raven March 29, 2016 at 5:40 PM Hi Lin, an emotional poem, Excellent write as always. A seven and into my faves....Vlad. Congratulations on your win in the contest. Lin Lane March 29, 2016 at 7:50 PM Thank you very much....certainly appreciated.

Jan Allison March 27, 2016 at 2:16 PM Very moving write Lin congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx Lin Lane March 27, 2016 at 3:36 PM Thanks, Jan.. huggin' ya back.

James Inman March 27, 2016 at 9:11 AM Sad intense feelings that accompany a difficult and sometimes dangerous situation. Great write Lin. Lin Lane March 27, 2016 at 3:36 PM Thank you, James.

Brian Davey March 27, 2016 at 2:08 AM Very well done congrats on your placement! Lin Lane March 27, 2016 at 3:36 PM Thank you, Brian.

Timothy Hicks March 27, 2016 at 12:08 AM Congrats on HM, Lin! Very emotional piece. I think this is the only one I read that actually used slightly varied refrains each couplet ... sort of a free-verse(ish) approach to the form, but still flowed well. Thanks for entering and I hope you enjoyed the ghazal form. Lin Lane March 27, 2016 at 3:35 PM Thank you, Tim.

Michael Tor March 23, 2016 at 1:21 PM Heartfelt write Lin. Addictions sometimes destroy. Selfishness is as bad as an addiction. People we love when they hurt themselves they hurt the people that love them. Excellent entry Lin for the contest. Lin Lane March 23, 2016 at 2:32 PM Thanks, Michael. It was hard for me to understand why he wouldn't get help, but I don't understand addictions. I'm fortunate, I know.

Walter T. Ashe March 21, 2016 at 5:09 PM Your ghazal is a real truth...an unfortunate real life truth! Read and felt every couplet! Honestly brave write Lin! Lin Lane March 21, 2016 at 6:41 PM Thank you, Walter. I've never felt more helpless, but it's in the past now.

Andrea Dietrich March 21, 2016 at 3:56 PM a very sad and hard thing to have to live with , Lin. You did a good job with this one. Lin Lane March 21, 2016 at 6:40 PM Thanks, Andrea. It was a heartbreaking time.

Constance La France March 21, 2016 at 3:07 PM Lin, this is BEAUTIFUL, an excellent poem, and I am loving it 7 ~ Lin Lane March 21, 2016 at 3:46 PM Thanks so much, Constance. Based on truth is not so easy to write emotionally, but ya never have to make up facts.

Daniel Turner March 21, 2016 at 2:47 PM Pretty emotional write, Peaches. Powerful. Not too knowledgeable about the form but the content is pretty vivid. Great write:) Lin Lane March 21, 2016 at 3:44 PM Thanks, Danny. I wrote what I thought was a ghazal then read that each line has to have the same number of syllables... Back to square 1.

Tom Quigley March 21, 2016 at 11:48 AM Very nice! See, you didn't have anything to worry about w/those mad skills! Lin Lane March 21, 2016 at 12:36 PM You made me smile, Tom, and perhaps you're right, but a little encouragement always helps. Thank you!

Rizwana Bhurani March 21, 2016 at 11:02 AM Deeply moving....well presented....gl Lin Lane March 21, 2016 at 12:35 PM Thanks for your kind comments, Rizwana.

Charlie Smith March 21, 2016 at 10:23 AM Well done Lin. Sad, but well done. Best wishes in the contest... Lin Lane March 21, 2016 at 12:35 PM Thanks so very much, Charlie.