Happy Birthday Matthew Scott Harris Parturition
Yours truly an aging baby boomer
long haired pencil necked geek
trademark disheveled characteristics
whipsawed ever faster around sun.
He (best buddy and alter ego of mine)
snapped, popped, and crackled
firstly his crown out cervix
subsequently skinny arms and legs
(I'll spare ye the bloody graphics),
whence obstetrician able, eager, and
ready underscored with italics
to pronounce hosannas
regarding garden variety
generic wrinkled newborn
emerging out birth canal
asthma noggin heralded
scrawny newborn, now celebrating lxiii
plus deux orbits around nearest star,
which birth sported an ordinary
uneventful, nonetheless miraculous
biological secrete heave reproductive tricks
immediately screaming
without assistance courtesy
Gran Prix (now pronounced as pricks)
also envision Dolby surround sound
nsync with spastic kicks
'o mine straggly mostly
gangly lovely bones mox nix.
Within some nondescript building
named The Christ Hospital
location Mount Auburn
Cincinnati, Ohio
(the buckeye state)
record number C57587
gingerly handled courtesy
Doctor James Mackay McCord
(ushering none other than me
into the wide webbed world)
bestowed upon bosom of Harriet Harris,
thy young mother of prolonged labor
as his bony ass easily
slipped out uterine crypt,
whereby with Vernix
caseosa, the waxy or cheese
he appeared made rather dipped
in tallow, thence unexpectedly whipped
minuscule fist ready to bump.
Copyright © Matthew Harris | Year Posted 2022
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