Home » Poems » Jan Allison » Haiku 102 -Amended

Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |

Haiku 102 -Amended

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.

tempestuous seas wild white horses galloping angry clouds brooding Haiku 102 Sponsor Nathan D 02~12~16

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Steve Grammatico

Date: 2/19/2016 6:08:00 AM

Jan, this is excellent. Powerful images. I would have placed this effort higher--much higher.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/19/2016 6:46:00 AM

Thanks Steve! I enter the contests for fun simply to challenge my creativity and try new forms - I am just grateful to appear on the winners list so my poem gets more exposure:-) hugs jan xx

Timothy Hicks

Date: 2/18/2016 8:04:00 PM

Came back to wish you congratulations! I think you were the only one that I've read that was inspired by those horses in the sky, which makes it unique, and your observation interesting.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/19/2016 3:57:00 AM

Thanks Timothy - my brother in law takes wonderful photos and there is one of 'white horses galloping ' on a beach - as the term also refers to waves I thought it was apt to use it in the poem . I hope to use some of my brother in laws photos on the site with my poems:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 2/17/2016 1:37:00 PM

Back to congratulate you on your win! Hugs Eve

Jan Allison
Date: 2/18/2016 9:26:00 AM

Thanks so much Eve:-) hugs Jan xx

Sandra Haight

Date: 2/17/2016 7:37:00 AM

Jan, congratulations on your nice win, for your outstanding Haiku! Hugs, Sandra

Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2016 8:13:00 AM

Many thanks Sandra:-) hugs Jan xx

Teddy Kimathi

Date: 2/17/2016 1:59:00 AM

Congrats buddy, for this amazing WIN and verse

Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2016 4:23:00 AM

Thanks so much Teddy:-) hugs Jan xx

Susan Gentry

Date: 2/17/2016 1:55:00 AM

Congratulations!

Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2016 4:23:00 AM

Thanks Susan:-) hugs Jan xx

Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 2/16/2016 10:53:00 PM

Congrats on ur great win with this awesome haiku Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/17/2016 4:23:00 AM

Thanks Dr Sharma:-) hugs Jan xx

Sara Kendrick

Date: 2/16/2016 5:34:00 PM

Awesome work !! No wonder it is in the winners’ list. Congrats..Sara

Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2016 5:36:00 PM

Thanks Sara I was very pleased to place in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 2/16/2016 3:49:00 PM

Congrats on a great win Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2016 4:12:00 PM

Thanks so much Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 2/16/2016 3:48:00 PM

wow, so cool you made the list. He is so selective, and I just know it was for those galloping horses. That line was outstanding.Congrats, Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2016 4:13:00 PM

I am hoping to use some of my brother in law's photos with my poems - he has the most amazing one of white horses - I would love to write a poem to go with it:-) hugs Jan xx

Edward Ebbs

Date: 2/16/2016 2:34:00 PM

Like this Jan, congrats!

Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2016 4:13:00 PM

Thanks so much Ed:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 2/16/2016 1:15:00 PM

Lovely imagery, Jan...this picture is very inspiring! Congrats on making the winners' list! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2016 4:14:00 PM

I was delighted to place Paul I do struggle with the twist in the final line of these poems:-) hugs Jan xx

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 2/16/2016 12:59:00 PM

Good one Jan..Congrats..I like the last line especially. BG

Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2016 4:14:00 PM

Thanks so much Barbara:-) hugs Jan xx

Nathan D.

Date: 2/16/2016 12:01:00 PM

Thanks Nate'

Jan Allison
Date: 2/16/2016 4:15:00 PM

Thanks so much Nate I was truly delighted to place in your contest - thanks for the inspiring image:-) hugs Jan xx

Judy Konos

Date: 2/15/2016 3:19:00 PM

how very stunning all your poetry has become....

Jan Allison
Date: 2/15/2016 3:22:00 PM

You are too kind my friend - I struggle with haiku and the juxtaposition in the final line:-( hugs Jan xx

Timothy Hicks

Date: 2/15/2016 2:12:00 PM

The trick is in trying to make your third line a sort of "surprise" (either subtle or dramatic) in the haiku. Sort of like a u-turn, you could say.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/15/2016 2:23:00 PM

Thanks Timothy I ditched my first 2 ideas:-) hugs jan xx

Timothy Hicks

Date: 2/15/2016 12:20:00 AM

One of the most descriptive haiku, as far as the picture is concerned! Without the picture, and it's still a complementary image to describe the ways of the ocean. Best of luck!

Jan Allison
Date: 2/15/2016 1:28:00 PM

I'm not sure about the final line Timothy - this is the third amendment:-) hugs Jan xx

Maurice Rigoler

Date: 2/14/2016 6:54:00 PM

Very nice, fits the imagery. As it happens I wrote a poem about a surface in which I describe the waves also as horses. Thanks for enjoying Father's Advice – even pesky flies are in need of guidance! / M

Jan Allison
Date: 2/15/2016 1:28:00 PM

Thanks so much Maurice I do appreciate your feedback:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 2/13/2016 7:42:00 PM

Oh I love it !!!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 2/14/2016 4:17:00 AM

Thanks Eve I struggled with the final line - this is the third amendment:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 2/13/2016 6:58:00 PM

I agree with Casarah. It's a very descriptive one of the photo and the middle line is outstanding, jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 2/13/2016 7:00:00 PM

Thanks Andrea I do appreciate your feedback:-) I am hoping to be able to use some of my brother in law's photos with my poems - he had an award winning one called 'white horses':-) hugs Jan xx