Guilty But Not At Fault
Guilt,
is an influence better served chilled
And only time will tell
If this is to be the beginning
or the end of mine
Was my lasting thought as the ambulance sped her away
Not a doctor merely a son
witnessing his mother fade to grey
So down and broken my skin had
turned to green to mask the darkness
of my mind and heart within
With hands still raw from the constant
bleaching undertook to rid or hide
this house of her stagnated faeces scent she left behind
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be
kind if you wish to preserve your sanity
If the choice of weapons to wage this duel with are tugging at a loved
one's heart strings
And how can you still be filled with regret if you have supposedly done
the right thing
Because you know they are only
going to hate you and resent you
for it afterwards
Dad dying was both cruel and sad
but what you are doing to yourself
can only be described as tragic
Dad wasn't given a choice whereas
you are doing this to yourself and
by proxy to me to
And yet somehow you always
still end up making me feeling guilty
no matter what i do
Maybe if i was an alcoholic as well
then this wouldn't hurt half as much
as it does and i wouldn't be forced
into caring so much either
But worst of all is being forced into
buying it for you knowing it's the
only reason you choose to carry on
living for
Copyright © Christopher Flaherty | Year Posted 2020
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