Guilty But Not At Fault

Guilt, is an influence better served chilled And only time will tell If this is to be the beginning or the end of mine Was my lasting thought as the ambulance sped her away Not a doctor merely a son witnessing his mother fade to grey So down and broken my skin had turned to green to mask the darkness of my mind and heart within With hands still raw from the constant bleaching undertook to rid or hide this house of her stagnated faeces scent she left behind Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind if you wish to preserve your sanity If the choice of weapons to wage this duel with are tugging at a loved one's heart strings And how can you still be filled with regret if you have supposedly done the right thing Because you know they are only going to hate you and resent you for it afterwards Dad dying was both cruel and sad but what you are doing to yourself can only be described as tragic Dad wasn't given a choice whereas you are doing this to yourself and by proxy to me to And yet somehow you always still end up making me feeling guilty no matter what i do Maybe if i was an alcoholic as well then this wouldn't hurt half as much as it does and i wouldn't be forced into caring so much either But worst of all is being forced into buying it for you knowing it's the only reason you choose to carry on living for