GROCERY STORY OBSTACLE COURSE

The grocery store becomes a maze  
the moment I walk in~  
a senior-sized obstacle course  
I never signed up for.  

The top shelves taunt me first,  
stacked with everything I actually need.  
I stretch, I rise on tiptoe,  
I perform a small, wobbly ballet~  
only to watch the cereal box  
remain smugly out of reach.  

Then come the bottom shelves,  
where the soda cartons lurk.  
I squat like a cautious archaeologist,  
praying my knees won’t file a complaint.  
I tug at the twelve-pack~  
it tugs back.  
We negotiate.  
Eventually, I win,  
but only by calling it a team lift  
between me and the Holy Spirit.  

Carts whiz by like racecars,  
children dart like squirrels,  
and I weave through the aisles  
with the grace of a retired gymnast  
who misplaced her balance in 1998.  

But somehow, I make it~  
past the shelves, past the soda,  
past the checkout line that moves  
with the speed of continental drift.  

And when I finally reach my car,  
I feel triumphant.  
Victorious.  
Practically athletic.  

Who needs a gym membership  
when the grocery store  
offers a full-body workout  
and a spiritual lesson  
in patience, perseverance,  
and laughing at myself  
every single time.

humorhumoroussatirelight verse

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