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Gravestones, Poems That Paint a Picture 2

The Old Stones and the Finch Gravestones are made of granite; I guess to hide the dirt, so people don't have to come as much to clean them. I hate you're down there in a vault of cement. I want to take a jackhammer and set you free! See how the old stones are not crisp? How the rain tries to free them? How it liberates their minerals into the soil? How they pass on as berries to the birds? See how the finch is forever chasing Spring and Summer? How far it follows the wind? How each year it returns with new songs from somewhere we've never been? This is the end I want for you; singing on a bright branch; not waiting your turn for heaven. Poems that paint a picture 2, contest 9-18-2017

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Pandita Sietesantos

Date: 9/21/2017 2:49:00 PM

Hi Jack, please accept my congratulations for a top placement win with this glowing piece! Best wishes. Pandita

Jack Webster
Date: 9/21/2017 5:14:00 PM

Thank you, Pandita!

Janice Canerdy

Date: 9/20/2017 8:49:00 PM

Very moving expression of raw grief, Jack. Congrats on your win! Janice

Jack Webster
Date: 9/20/2017 9:21:00 PM

Thank you, Janice!

Susan Ashley

Date: 9/20/2017 7:42:00 PM

Congratulations Jack, on your well-deserved win with your beautiful and touching poem :)

Jack Webster
Date: 9/20/2017 8:22:00 PM

Thank you, Susan. You too! :)

Roy Pett

Date: 9/20/2017 4:20:00 PM

Congratulations on your well deserved win Jack, this is an excellent piece of poetry. :))

Jack Webster
Date: 9/20/2017 4:39:00 PM

Thank you so much, Roy :)

Jean Murray

Date: 9/20/2017 3:06:00 PM

My father was a musician Jack, with a beautiful tenor voice. As we seven siblings witnessed his coffin being lowered into that cold earth, a blackbird sang his heart out on the church staple. We all then sang When The Saints Go Marching In, a favourite of his. Your beautiful poem brought tears thinking of that day. Thank you for the memory and congratulations on your placement.

Jean Murray
Date: 9/20/2017 5:55:00 PM

That's it then. I hope my muse is listening Jack!! Thank you.

Jack Webster
Date: 9/20/2017 3:45:00 PM

Thank you so much, Jean. I'm humbled my poem reminded you of such a meaningful moment. Thank you for your moving response; I'd dare call it a prose poem. But, if you haven't already written a work about this memory, I hope you'll feel compelled to now. The image of the black bird singing on top of the steeple while the coffin of your father, the tenor, is lowered into the ground is such a powerful, and authentic, counterpoint. To me, it very strongly conveys the undefeatable spirit of song/poetry/love that perdures beyond mortal time. I truly wish you will consider writing it!

Constance La France

Date: 9/20/2017 11:09:00 AM

Jack, this really touched my soul.CONGRATULATIONS on your placement with this wonderful poem!

Jack Webster
Date: 9/20/2017 12:59:00 PM

Thank you, Broken Wings. I'm glad you liked it :)

Vijay Pandit

Date: 9/20/2017 7:32:00 AM

Congrats Jack!

Jack Webster
Date: 9/20/2017 9:20:00 AM

Thank you, Vijay!

Silent One

Date: 9/20/2017 6:40:00 AM

Such an intelligent write with a great last stanza... Great use of metaphor for this, if only we could be a bird singing our songs of peace on that branch, even when the rain tries to spoil it.. Congratulations on your placement in the contest

Jack Webster
Date: 9/20/2017 9:20:00 AM

Thank you, Silent One!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/19/2017 7:11:00 PM

I really enjoyed this one and the symbolism of the stones vs. the finch. Amazing!

Jack Webster
Date: 9/19/2017 8:26:00 PM

Thank you, Andrea. I'm glad you liked it :)

Vijay Pandit

Date: 9/19/2017 7:09:00 AM

Quite an original approach to this theme, Jack--very creative--best wishes for a win!

Jack Webster
Date: 9/19/2017 10:33:00 AM

Thank you, Vijay!

Eve Roper

Date: 9/19/2017 12:46:00 AM

Very deep with great meaning, Jack, good luck in the contest.. Thank you so very much for reading my poem, you touched me with your words... I don't know if you read any of the comments , but my son also tried because of a girl.. She called us and immediately, we picked him up and drove him to the hospital.. He, to this day has regretted it..

Jack Webster
Date: 9/19/2017 1:15:00 AM

:O omg! I'm so glad he's okay! How terrifying. It's so excellent she got help so quickly. At the moment my mother is my reason for staying - feeling the world is so unbearably awful, how could i leave her to face it alone? For now, that's enough, but it's never something I'd let her know. I hope your son is well and safe.